Month: April 2003

My dad never wears his seat belt and I am always telling him to put it on. I don’t know whether or not he wears it when I’m not around. Well he was just in a really bad car accident and his car was totalled. The other guy was bleeding really badly and his air bag fizzled out. It turns out my dad WAS wearing his seat belt. And if he hadn’t been wearing it, he would have died. Thank God.


As of today, I have been single for exactly two years. I am starting to get lonely again.

I went into my mom’s room this morning and saw her clothes on her bed and she wasn’t there and I started freaking out because I thought I had been left behind. Then Starla came online and I was like “Thank God you’re on, I thought I had been left behind.” Which she found it to be funny to say “I am not me.” and I was like “Amy, stop” and she said “there is no Amy.” And after about 5 minutes started laughing at me. *Shakes fist* You suck, Starla Jean!!!

I didn’t go to school today cuz i thought it was a gym day, but it turns out that it was master singers. Oops. I did, however, go see Mr Thatcher. He just doesn’t understand that I don’t want to be on SNL. He said if I don’t get him free tickets to whatever professional thing I am in, he is gonna tell a bunch of stuff to Tabloids. Whatever.

I also went to Lights, which wound up only being an hour, due to the fact it is tech week for Our Town.

Clay rocked the hizouse so badly, that I haven’t been able to get through the phone lines to vote for him. And they were supposed to close 20 minutes ago, and they’re STILL busy. Grrr! Ryan Seacrest wore his glasses tonight and looked better. Reminded me of Casey. I still haven’t seen Alyssa. Casey is a cool guy and I want to be his friend.

Well secret’s out, Laura knows that Blake still likes me. But now she is trying to convince me to go out with him. He said he wants me to be Audrey so he can be Seymour and we can kiss. He also said if I come to Winnie the Pooh, he’d pay for my ticket.

And so the battle with Brian continues. I was just kidding myself to think that it ever really ended.

I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder.

I wound up giving the three free tans to Megan Wittenberger. I couldn’t find anyone to go to the concert with me, so I didn’t get to go. Oh well, it’s not like it was to see David Schwimmer.

I got this from
Question: I read somewhere that cum has a lot of calories.  That kind of worries me, because when I grow up, I will have to deal with oral sex, but I read somewhere that it’s kind of rude if you don’t swallow.  So, I’ve been searching everywhere for an answer to my question, but have found nothing.  How many calories does cum have, and is it fattening?  (I know it’s kind of dumb, but just a question.  :0)
Submitter: Curiosity killed the cat, but not Kathy!
Location: For me to know, and you to find out!
Age: 14
Sex: Female
[Musey:  Actually, as far as snacks go, semen is probably the healthiest thing you can have.  Per each ejaculate, semen contains Calcium, Creatine, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Vitamin B12, Vitamin C, Zinc and contains only 15 calories.  That’s like eating 10 Tic Tacs (which you might need after swallowing a vitamin-packed snack like that.  So swallow on, girlie!]

I went on my other sn last night for two seconds and saw that Brandon was on and sent him an IM just to say happy birthday. I would have felt bad if I didn’t. I really wish nothing had ever happened between us.

I went to my neuropsychiatrist again today. He’s still an idiot and now he is making me feel really bad about myself. He makes me so mad.

Mr Thatcher called and decided that I have had so many absences, that I now only have to go to school for choir and Lights. It means more time in Pathways, but at least I won’t be stressed from trying to catch up on 6 weeks worth of work and about 20 or so gym makeups.

Ricky finally unblocked me.

Courteney Cox is pregnant. I found out last week, but I kept forgetting to say something. Janice is going to be in this week’s episode and David will be in next week’s. Phoebe will marry David. Nobody will ever marry Joey because he is a whore.

Mr Neubauwhore decided that for the choir concert Lights is gonna wear all black when we do All That Jazz. So Laura Strong and I went to the mall and I was lucky enough that the first shirt and pants I tried on were perfect. I tried to write a check but they wouldn’t take it cuz I don’t have a driver’s license and the chick told me I need a state ID or nobody will ever take a check from me, which is total BS. So I ripped up the check that I had already written, and it was my last one too. Luckily, I had decided to bring $35 with me. It wound up being about $26 and then I got an Auntie Anne’s pretzel and strawberry dutch ice.

Then we went to Express to see Dan because I have to give him a video of Grease. He’s not gonna be in Little Shop, but he is choreographing and he said if I’m a doo wop girl to prepare for Hell. It’s not even a dancing show. He makes me mad.

Then we went to Spencer’s to see Perlini, and Matt Wilson showed up and he got his license.

Then I saw Torey and Crystal Lebbin. Torey is a ho. I think I am going to call him Whorey from now on. He has spring green hair now.

I am not hungry, but there is a Portillo’s cheeseburger in the fridge calling my name. Gosh darnit.

Behold the magic of “%n”

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HALLELUJAH!!!!! AMEN!!!!! YEAHBO!!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!!!!! THANK GOD CARMEN IS FINALLY GONE!!!!!! I swear I was going to kill myself if she didn’t get voted off tonight!!!!

Okay, so today has been a pretty good day. We had a senior reflection day that started off in the north gym. It started at 8:30 and they gave us breakfast. I had a choice between Krispy Kreme (yuck), goy bagels, and Quig’s good donuts. I chose the Quig’s and it’;s still Passover, so my whole week went down the drain. I could have had brownies at Karis’ house! Then Dr Girard said some predictions for our first reunion (like that Torey will come with his hair dyed brown) and we had a guest speaker who was a refugee who escaped from Ethiopia. You can see his web site here. He reminded me of EJ and Sara! Jane agreed. I thought they should have gotten Matt Foley to speak, that’d be interesting. Spud suggested they should have gotten David Connolly. I thought that was a better idea. Then we went to Lakewood forest preserve and played on the playground. Some of us played Spud and I quit after one letter because I wiped out and hurt myself and my whole left pants leg is green now. Then we had lunch. I can’t believe I finished two pieces of Wapaghetti’s pizza. In mocking the signs that say “If you lived here, you’d be home,” Bagel wrote on a picnic table “If you lived here, you’d be homeless.” Then after everyone had two pieces of Wapaghetti’s, they told us there were 85 pizzas from Dominoes, and after Wapaghettis, nobody is hungry. So I took a whole pizza home. I also had a Dominoes dot and a big fudgesicle. Then they had a raffle and I was the first person to win. I won a supersoaker. Then Mrs O’Toole talked about mastication and had Caitlin Trein read us a kid’s book. Then Mr Sell told us he was glad we were talking about mastication because he is a frequent masticator and that he was going to stalk us all and then told us he was only kidding and wouldn’t really, by court order. Then Mr Jurco said Mrs O’Toole asked him to masticate in the woods. Then I went home and called into the radio for the threesome and won a fake tan (which I will give away cuz I would rather not die of skin cancer) and 2 tickets for the Vertical Horizon concert in Milwaukee on Tuesday. Hopefully I’ll get out of Lights in time to go. I’m gonna ask Karis and if she says no I will ask Torey. Tom wants me to go out to Evanston to visit him. I need to get my license. Then of course Carmen FINALLY got voted off of American Idol and I was jumping on my couch and got in trouble. I am gonna watch David Schwimmer revealed again tonight cuz my tape ran out in the middle of it last night. I don’t need to watch Fraternity Life tonight. I dunno why I watch it at all, it’s so stupid and I hate fraternities and people that are in them. Wait I lied, David Schwimmer was in a fraternity. Man I want to marry him. I also read on AOL about this dog in California that was hit by a car so a policeman shot her in the head so she wouldn’t have to suffer. She was taken to an animal hospital and prnounced dead, so they put her in a freezer. Two hours later someone saw her sit up. She had hypothermia and NO broken bones. That poor dog. It’s so sad.

I stayed up until 3am tlaking to Tom.

Torey’s hair looks like birthday cake. I want to eat it.

We got Bridge Over Troubled Water today cuz master singers are singing it with Sound this year at graduation. But Torey and Amanda Miller get left out cuz neither of them are in Sound or master singers. Anyway, I am like the only person who hasn’t sung it before cuz this is my first and only year in masters and I have never been in Sound. So everyone else knows there are added harmonies from previous years and I am so lost. And I couldn’t even singing, I was just crying the whole time because I seriously do not have any friends and it just made me really sad. Plus the fact that I am not graduating, so I won’t be singing it at graduation and I will prolly be the first person in history to fail masters.

Lindsay and I will be vying (sp?) for the same part in Little Shop and she called me a part stealer, even though she was my dream role in Grease. Hello!

I watched David Schwimmer revealed tonight on E! and I just love him even more and I want to lose my virginity to him, whether or not we are married. What a cool guy. Who cares if he’s 36 and I’m 18?

I keep seeing ads for Metabolife and Ultra Carbo Lifeoline or whatever and I decided to write them a theme song. So here it is, and it is to the tune of “Seasons of Love” from Rent…

525,600 sit-ups. 525,000 pounds that I weigh. 525,600 chi-ins. How do I get these pounds to go away? How about dru-u-u-u-u-u-u-ugs? How about dru-u-u-u-u-u-u-ugs? Lose ’em with drugs.

I went to church with the Boscos today for the Easter service. Courtney is the one who invited me, but I think Kristen was more excited to see me. It was funny to walk in with Kristen and see a bunch of 3 year old girls (which I think are their cousins) run up to her and say “Courtney!” It was a Lutheran church so it was different. I just wasn’t feelin it there. I couldn’t take communion because of the bread. Then I couldn’t take a gift bag for visitors either cuz there was a loaf of bread in it. I went up to sing Hallelujah Chorus at the end. I like that song. I wish we had recorded it on the choir cd last year.