Month: July 2003

I forgot to say that once this weekend while I was alone in the dressing room, I heard a knock on the door. I wasn’t naked, so I said “come in.” All I heard, in a quiet, muffled voice, was “Candygram.” I opened the door, expecting to see a toy shark or something, but nobody was there. I think it was Todd. He sounded exactly like Chevy Chase. 10 points to whoever that was.

I am going to start taking the birth control pill next time I get my period.

Yesterday, I ate at this new hot dog stand by Jewel. It’s called “Cooch’s Dawg Shack.” I think their motto should be “I’ll show you my cooch, if you show me your weiner.”

I saw an interview with Drew Barrywhore the other day. She was talking about how she played a girl with BiPolar Disorder in a movie and that she knows how insane people think because she spent a year in a mental institution, so that helped her with her character. Only an ignorant person would say something like that.

James had a nightmare a few days ago that I was wearing my showchoir makeup and ‘devilish’ eyelashes and I was chasing him. He woke up before I could get him. HAHAHAHA. Oh, James.

I made Julie’s pistachio salad, but I thought we were supposed to add milk, cuz that’s what the pudding package said. Turns out, I was wrong. So now it’s all runny and stuff.

The Pink Laydeez
Congrats – you’re a Pink Lady! You’re hot and good
looking. You don’t care what people say. Lucky

Are you a Pink Lady from Grease? (girls only)
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What american pie character are you?
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Jesus Christ Superstar

My favourite Andrew Lloyd Webber musical is Jesus Christ Superstar, a controversial rock opera that got its start as a concept album long before it was ever produced for the stage – which is why the story relies so heavily on the lyrics and the music. If some other shows might be called low on character and plot, this one has it in spades – one of the greatest stories of all time, and its’ all about the humanity of your characters!

Which Andrew Lloyd Webber Musical Would You Enjoy Most?, hosted by Quizilla, created by Harlequin.


You are Chocolate Mousse. You are exotic and a
loner. But you are also depressed in a lot of
ways. If you really think that you don’t have
any friends, go out in this big world and find
some! I am sure that someone is feeling the
same feelings you are! Just lighten up just a
tad and remember that you must treasure every
moment. Because on the outside you are
strange, but on the inside you are kind,
friendly, and sweet.

What Junk Food would you be?
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If you haven’t noticed, I now have up-to-date weather info on my journal!

I made Kristina get a journal too.

So last Friday, I sent Tom an IM and told him we are no longer engaged and he asked why and I told him it’s cuz I don’t like him anymore cuz he doesn’t care to be friends with me. He went to bed. Then on Monday he sent me an IM telling me that it really hurt him what I said and asked if I really meant it. I told him I didn’t think he cared to be my friend because he doesn’t make an effort to stay in touch with me. He said he does care, he’s just busy and irresponsible. So, it’s all kosher. I don’t think we’re engaged though.

I got my state ID and new permit. My ID picture doesn’t suck!!

So on Monday I realized that everyone was so concerned about putting the show together, nobody bothered to think about Julie’s black eye! So I told her I’d figure it out for her. I came to rehearsal on Tuesday with a black eye and Liz saw it and went “WHAT THE FUCK?!” It was awesome.

For the Friday matinee, Christi allowed Ian to do the opening monologue in the JFK voice (kinda my idea). It was so good, that some elderly women in the audience thought it was a recording of JFK. But I said “Ian, it’s supposed to be ‘the voice not unlike God’s,’ and he said “How do you know God doesn’t sound like JFK?”

Also on the Friday Matinee, some kids that Julie babysits were there and after she died and Rob was putting her in the plant, one of the kids apparently said “What are they doing to Julie? Am I ever gonna get to see her again?”

Then Shellie, Kristina, Liz, Heather, and I went to Olive Garden for lunch. Mmm virgin strawberry daquiri. Jenni paid for my lunch, because my mom got me the $11 she owed me for the cookie dough. She also got my video and my “Veronika Decides to Die.” But they couldn’t find “Slaughterhouse V.” Kristina dropped her cell phone in the toilet.

Torey came to the night show on Friday. I actually believe him now when he says we’re friends. For the first time in four years. When I came out after the show and he saw me, he held out his arms for a hug. Hooray.

The cast party was at Shellie’s house. Julie brought this pistachio salad stuff and it was so good, I made her give me the recipe. Jessica Fisher came. She sprained her ankle, coming to say hi to me. She and Rikki Lee are kinda back together. ugh. I was voted onto the short bus. If anyone is actually reading this, I’ll explain the short bus. There are two kinds of school busses; the long ones and the short ones. And the only kids who ride the short busses to school are the special needs kids. I feel bad using that expression, but it’s so funny. I wound up sleeping over at Shellie’s.

On Saturday, I wrote a parody of Suddenly Seymour. Julie sang it for me in the dressing room. We tried to get them to sing it at the cast party and Rob agreed only because he’d had a few beers, but they decided not to because Gina was there and she’s only 10. I think I have finally found the ultimate maximum of dirtyness. You’d be surprised how little time I actually spent on this. It just came to me (no pun intended).

Suddenly Semen ©2003 JAR, Ltd

Lay down on the bed and spread your legs.
Here, take my penis, break that hymen away.
Show me your clit, as wet as a puddle.
I know you were pure, but now you’re my lay.

Suddenly semen is swimming inside you.
You don’t need no condoms, you just need an egg.
Suddenly semen is here to provide you
Fertilization. Semen’s your friend.

Nobody ever offered me sex.
Daddy’s related, Mama is too.
I’d meet a man and I’d tease him a lot.
He’d snap his fingers, I’d walk away.

Suddenly semen is swimmming inside me.
He gave me a quarter and told me to bend.
Suddenly semen is here to provide me
Fertilization. Semen’s my friend.

Tell me this feeling lasts til forever.
Tell me the KY is clean, washed away.
Please understand that it’s still strange and frightening.
For virgins, like I’ve been, it’s so hard to play.

Suddenly semen de-purified me.
Suddenly semen showed me I can
Learn how to be more the slut that’s inside me,
Without even standing, without even standing, without even standing.
Semen’s my man.

I think I should put the original lyrics too, in case some random person is reading this and isn’t familiar with Little Shop of Horrors.

Suddenly Seymour

Lift up your head, wash off that mascara.
Here, take my kleenex, wipe that lipstick away.
Show me your face, as clean as the morning.
I know things were bad, but now they’re okay.

Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.
You don’t need no makeup, don’t have to pretend.
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide you
Sweet understanding. Seymour’s your friend.

Nobody ever treated me kindly.
Daddy’s left early, Mama was poor.
I’d meet a man and I’d follow him blindly.
He’d snap his fingers, me, I’d say, “Sure.”

Suddenly Seymour is standing beside me.
He don’t give me orders, he don’t condescend.
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide me
Sweet understanding. Seymour’s my friend.

Tell me this feeling lasts til forever.
Tell me the bad times are clean, washed away.
Please understand that it’s still strange and frightening.
For losers, like I’ve been, it’s so hard to say.

Suddenly Seymour, he purified me.
Suddenly Seymour showed me I can
Learn how to be more the girl that’s inside me,
With sweet understanding, with sweet understanding, with sweet understanding.
Seymour’s my man.

Alan as cuddly and cute!
Alan as cuddly and cute!

You want to bounce in a big, soft bed with Alan and
enjoy touching and tickling, snuggling and
giggling, while surrounded by fluffy stuffed
animals. Awww!

What is Your Alan Cumming Erotic Fantasy?
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You like to have sex with the Opposite Sex. I guess
that could be called normal.

What Kind Of Sex Do You Like? (Includes Pictures)
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You are a HACKER – you travel the world without
leaving your chair, you have the abilities to
ruin people’s lives with the click of a button.
people should fear you more than they actually

What Type Of Criminal Are You?
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Dark Chocolate. A little bitter sweet but good all
the same. You may not be happy-go lucky but
you’re a real person and not just another part
of the crowd though sometimes you might feel
insignificant. You have may or may not have
some deep rooted turmoil in your mind. You’re
dark chocolate and maybe a little emotionally
dysfunctional…but don’t be so glum all the
time…yeah, I know…that’s easier said than

What sweet are you most like?
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carlos is ur man
Carlos is your man

Which Magic School Bus Guy is Your Ideal Man?
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Okay, so now that I have had a week to ponder on the events that unfolded at Shellie’s party, I think it’s finally time to write about it.

So last Friday the day started out well when I heard the unfamiliar sounds of an ice cream truck. I happily ran outside with money. I have lived here for 15 years and that’s the first ice cream truck I’ve seen in Mundelein! My mom said they’re illegal here. I made the mistake of telling the really cute 19-year-old-looking ice cream man that and he hasn’t been back since . I bought a snow cone. It had red in it blah. As soon as I opened it, it fell on my dirty floor. So I went to run it under water and it started melting!!! I started eating what was left and the red was strawberry!!! Yay!!!

So then at night I went to Shellie’s party. There weren’t many people there and I didn’t know anyone except Shellie and Heather. Well and Liz and Gina, but family stayed inside the house the entire time. I think 99.7% of the people that came and went at the party were chain smokers. I left the party wanting a cigarette. So anyway, Kristina didn’t show up until like 9:30pm and then decided she wasn’t gonna spend the night. It was cold and rainy and my hair was frizzing up a lot. I told her if she stayed she could feel how hard my nipples were. HAHA. She declined. Oh, and Emma was invited only because she heard Shellie and Kristina talking about it (kinda like when Gunther was invited to Ross’s Emily bachelor party hehe). She didn’t come because I was going to be there. She apparently is still trash talking about me and tells Kristina that she hates me. But she hugs me when she sees me. I can’t stand that! She has no right to hate me, she doesn’t even know me. I understand if she didn’t like me during Grease, cuz I had her part, But GRease is long since over. I can’t believe she and Ian are so closely related. That Josh guy never showed up, so my FRIENDS trivia game and book went to waste.

At like 1:00AM, Shellie and I went for an excursion around her neighbourhood. We must have been gone for like 10 or 15 minutes. Not very long. We heard some female screaming and assumed it came from her house, cuz nobody else had lights on. Then a few minutes later we heard a man say “Hey, you, come here!” And then we heard a door opening. So we ran back to her house.

Everyone was in her backyard sitting by the campfire. The only people that were still there besides Me, Shellie, and Heather were a girl named Colleen, a girl named Melissa, who apparently went to Sandburg for middle school, and Melissa’s “friend” Brandon. Oh, and we were only allowed to go inside the house to go to the bathroom because they just got a kitten named “Jezebel,” which Shellie likes to call “Jizz ball.” So we’re all playing “I never” with pop and like everyone is done with their 2nd and 3rd cans, and I’m still on my first, and it’s almost full. Haha, go me! They were complaining that I haven’t done anything and I said I have, they jus haven’t gotten to it. So they switched to Truth or Dare so they could get it out of me. They did. Blah. I drank so much pop at her party I was in the bathroom about every hour.

So Melissa decided that she was going to have Heather bring up the fact that she missed a birth control pill and thought she was pregnant (not true). So Heather says something and Brandon starts freaking out (as I said, he’s her “friend”). And I was laughing when Heather was saying that and Brandon kept looking at me weird. So he’s like freaking out and I’m like “Dude, Melissa, you have to tell him the truth, he’s freaking out, I feel so bad.” And she’s just sitting there laughing. So, eventually, after like 5 or so minutes, she goes “You’ve been Xed.” And Brandon as like “What?” And Colleen goes “You’ve been Punk’d.” And he got really pissed. I couldn’t believe they said it like that lol. Oh, the media.

So, to break the tension, since we were sitting around a campfire, I decided to tell the Theatrefest ghost story. Then Brandon and Heather started telling ghost stories. Then we started hearing strange noise, like someone running through the bushes. But we heard it from like two or three different directions. Then we saw this weird white light. We sent Brandon into the bushes with an axe. He came back and said nobody was there. Then they asked me and Shellie if one of us had screamed while we were on our walk, cuz they heard it too. So we’re all like freaking out, it must have been about 3:30am or 4:00am, but Shellie wouldn’t let us go into her house, cuz we weren’t allowed. And we didn’t want to sleep in the tent cuz we thought someone was out there. And I have been jumpy the passed few months, because of the whole seeing a guy outside my sliding glass door holding a three foot rifle. Then Colleen complains that something was scratching her leg, and nobody was around. So I quoted Phoebe and said “Something just brushed up against my left leg!!!…Nevermind, it was just my right leg.” At Least everyone laughed.

So we spent the next couple hours freaking out, and, eventually, at about 6am, went into the tent, because it was light outside. We fell asleep at maybe 7am and got like an hour and a half of sleep. Then Melissa and Brandon left, because Melissa had to go to work. Then Shellie and Colleen and I went into Shellie’s room for a nap (we didn’t sleep) and I looked through Shellie’s 8th grade yearbook and Kristy Kranz and Jacque Meyer were in it. Hahaha. Then Greg (a guy who had been there before) called and said he was coming over. Then Shellie and Heather and Greg had a conference, about which you need not know. And Liz and Colleen and I tried to eavesdrop. Then Shellie ran away and Colleen and Liz went to find her. Then Liz took Colleen home and when she came back she took me, Shellie, and Heather out to lunch at a place called The Cedar Cafe, which was next to where Laura’s grad party was. I had the most fulfilling Julienne Salad in my entire life. MMM. Then we went to Wal Mart in Gurnee and Shellie and I kept seeing pennies (Some woman wrote a book that said if you find pennies, it means someone is trying to contact you from the other side. I’m still not sure if I believe that or not. But if it’s true, and I was dead and trying to contact someone with pennies, I wouldn’t leave just one, I’d spell something out. Seriously). Then we went back to Shellie’s house and she, Heather, and I napped for like an hour and a half while Liz went to go pick up Gina from swimming. Then I called my mom to come get me.

When I got in the car, my mom told me that my dad called and I was to call him Re: something that happened at the party. So I was all confused. I called him and he said he got a call from my cell phone at 4:00am and he heard our conversation for like 10 minutes and he thought someone broke into the house and he was gonna call the police, but he didn’t know the address of where we were. He also said that he heard some woman asking us if we were okay. That never happened. Then I got home and Amy Henderson said she got a phone call from my cell phone at 4:30am. So I checked my cell phone and it had called my dad at 4:07am and Amy at 4:32am. Here’s the scary thing, my cell phone was on keyguard, in my purse, next to me the whole time. The only time it wasn’t was when I lent it to Heather to call Greg and I checked my phone and that was sometime around 2:30am and I put it right back on keyguard. I told Shellie about that on Monday and she started freaking out and saying “No!! There are NO ghost in my backyard!!!” And ran downstairs into the neighbourhood. So That’s the story of Shellie’s party. There ya go, Laura.

I was watching Mad TV on Saturday night and there was a sketch where Connie Chung was interviewing some prostitute and she asked the prostitute if she had slept with any celebrities. I was like “Don’t even!” And she goes, “Well someone that’s on a famous sitcom.” “Nooo, don’t you dare!” “David ‘one nut’ Schwimmer.” “Stupid bitch, I warned you!!!” And then Connie Chung asked her how it was and the prositute goes “Let’s just say, I had a ball.” I don’t know why she said that. Tom Green is the one who only has one testicle. Haha, last night Tom Green said “After the divorce, my dog, Annie, would climb into bed next to me so I wouldn’t have to sleep in a big bed all by myself with no bitch next to me.” HAHAHA, Drew Barrywhore.

I was listening to the threesome the other day and the first song was “I don’t Want to Wait” by Paula Cole. And I always try to guess what the other two songs will be and what the connection between them is, but I am never right. So I guessed that the nexxt two songs would be “I’ll be There for You” by the Rembrandts and “Closer to Free” by the Bodeens. Haha could I BE more right? They played “Closer to Free” before “I’ll be There for You,” but still. That was hilarious. If you don’t know the connection between them, they’re all theme songs for TV shows. “I Don’t Want to Wait”-Dawson’s Creek, “Closer to Free”-Party of Five (I loved that show and Scott Wolf is so frickin hot!), and “I’ll be There for You”- FRIENDS. If you didn’t know that last one, you must be living under a rock in a cave on Mars with your fingers in your ears.

John Mayer was voted like one of the ugliest musicians. I dunno who decided that, prolly People Magazine. But he’s so hot!!!

I figured that there wouldn’t be so many Skid Row murders if they would just find a woman on her period to hold over the stupid plant!

Baskin Robbins doesn’t have Daquiri Ice anymore!! I am going to cry!!

Speaking of Robbins, we got my birth certificate corrected, but they didn’t give us our money back. They suck. DAMN EVANSTON HOSPITAL TO HELL!

The other day, I saw Brandon Kalcsics driving the biggest frickin SUV I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I bet he was tryin to compensate for something. HAHAHAHA.

You’re The Butterfinger!

What Candy Are You?
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Breast Pump
You’re a breast pump! This means that you’re a
nurturer, and gentle(well, hopfully gentle =)).
Show your pride, tell everyone you’re a breast
pumper, yay!

What feminine product are you?
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sarah. jane. jaime. one of these.

what should you name REALLY TRULY be?
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Everything on my internet is neon green. It’s really annoying; I don’t know what’s wrong.

I downloaded the newest version of AIM for crapintoshes yesterday, only to find out it was the beta version. It didn’t even work at all. They got my hopes up for nothing!

I talked to Cailtin Bell the other day for over an hour. She was asking about all her old friends and stuff. Unfortunately, almost everyone she asked about smokes pot now. It didn’t even cross my mind to tell her about the Burger King incident.

I found out the other day that both of Kristina’s parents are deaf. How cool! I know more ASL than she does though lol.

I talked to Tom on Monday night and he wanted me to call him at 9am on Tuesday so we could work out stuff for going to coffee early Wednesday morning. I told him it was too early and he said if I care, I’ll make the sacrifice. So my alarm went off at 8:50am and I was like “Why the hell is my alarm going off at this unGodly hour?!” And then I realized I had to call Tom. So I pressed the snooze alarm and when it went off again, I called his cell phone. He didn’t answer it, so I left a message saying to call my cell phone. He never called me back. I tried calling him again at night and his phone was off. Then he came online and said he couldn’t go on Wednesday cuz he had to go to work early. I’m REALLY pissed. I have decided to give up on him, instead of like with Drew, where I kept letting myself get hurt about 6 or 7 times.

Shellie’s party is tomorrow night. If Kristina is allowed to sleepover, I’ll be spending the night in a tent with the two of them. Otherwise I’ll be in a tent with Heather and a bunch of people I don’t know. Apparently Josh is no longer going, so I won’t get to meet him. Oh well. Laura’s not going either. And I highly doubt that Frank is going. So I guess Shellie, Kristina, and Heather will be the only ones there that I know. Well, I know Shellie’s mom, Liz, and I’ve kinda met her little sister, Gina. Anyway, Shellie says her property is like 1/4 of an acre, so we may play capture the flag. My idea, thank you very much.

The entire Katz family will be in Waukegan next month! I am sooo frickin excited. Hopefully i’ll be able to see them. I haven’t seen any of them since I was five!!

I am really wondering where Kristen is. She wasn’t on last week, I didn’t talk to her the week before, and she hasn’t been on yet today. I am considering calling to find out if she’s even home. Assuming, of course, their phone number is still the same.

Tonight I am going to teach myself self control. My dad is bringing me a Portillo’s cheeseburger and I am not going to eat it until I wake up tomorrow. Think I can do it?

I voted for Natalie Portman and Alec Baldwin for the sexiest vegetarian in Hollywood (male and female).

I found Glenn Humplik’s online journal. I read all the entries. Here’s a funny link I found Bang Bang Bang

Aisha Tyler (Charlie from FRIENDS) was on Tom Green last night. She seems like such a bitch. She was talking about running over and beating up a homeless man, but that it was okay, because she gave him a dollar afterwards. I know she was joking, but it’s not funny!!

Weird Al was also on Tom Green last night. He’s so funny. He has a reverse mullet. One of his songs from his new album is completely palindromes, and I want everyone reading this to see the lyrics. Mad props to him for fitting “Lisa Bonet” into a palindrome.

By Al Yankovic

I, man, am regal – a German am I
Never odd or even
If I had a hi-fi
Madam, I’m Adam
Too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon
Too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonet ate no basil
Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw?

Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see god?
“Do nine men interpret” “Nine men,” I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won’t lovers revolt now?
Race fast, safe car
Pa’s a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam?

Ah, Satan sees Natasha
No devil lived on
Lonely Tylenol
Not a banana baton
No “x” in “Nixon”
O, stone, be not so
O Geronimo, no minor ego
“Naomi,” I moan
“A Toyota’s a Toyota”
A dog, a panic in a pagoda

Oh, no! Don Ho!
Nurse, I spy gypsies – run!
Senile felines
Now I see bees I won
UFO tofu
We panic in a pew
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog

The Osbournes
You belong to the OSBOURNE family from the ever
popular t.v. show “The Osbournes”.

Which Sitcom family do you belong in?
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You Are Lucy
You are Lucy! You love to daydream. You can be
bossy and you don’t always state the real

Which Peanuts Character Are You?
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February’s Amethyst! You’re sweet and kind of
moody. Don’t worry about it, people know you
don’t mean the few mean things you might say.
You very self-concious too, be careful.
Congratulations Amethyst!

Which birthstone are you?
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A Chorus Line
You are A CHORUSLINE! Your whole plot is based
around the audition of a Broadway show in NY
and the auditioneers…By the end of the show
you feel a deep connection to each character
auditioning. Sometimes serious, sometimes
humourous this show is absolutely fabulous.

What Musical are you?
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Your Donatello, The Brain.
Don,Your favored weapon is a Bo (staff) and your
color is purple.

Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Are you?
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I talked to Tom a couple days ago. He said he doesn’t hate me and that i need to chiiiiil. We talked for an hour and a half. Then I talked to him again on Saturday. He thinks I’m smarter than him, even though he goes to Northwestern and has a higher IQ than me and skipped first grade and I haven’t even finished high school yet. He asked me what “jurisprudence” means. I’d never even heard that word. So i looked it up for him. it means the philosophy of law. I don’t think it’s possible for someone with a lower IQ to be smarter. So I e-mailed Dr Girard. He said “Personally, I think the word “smart” is relative…book smart? common sense smart? smart aleck? smart ass? who knows? Don’t worry about it.”

There was no pot smoking going on on Friday night cuz the guy who was supposed to bring it didn’t. Thank God. Shellie’s party is on Friday and Saturday and she assured me that there will be no smoking of pot on her property.

I had a dream last night that I was spending so much time with Shellie and Heather that I started smoking. And I wasn’t addicted, I could stop whenever I wanted, I just wanted to smoke with them. I put up an away message one day that said I was going to stop smoking the next day and Brian saw it and had a fit. Heather also told me that she had a boyfriend and someone paid him $500 to break up with her. Then I guess I was at home and Josh called me and said “Happy Chanukah.” Then all of a sudden we were no longer on the phone, we were in person. He told me the reason Alison broke up with him is because someone paid her $100 to break up with him. I told him not to feel bad cuz someone paid Heather’s boyfriend $500 to break up with her. Then we held hands. That was it. I told Shellie about the dream and she thought it was funny that I wanted to smoke with them.

Shellie and I worked on walking and standing like men, because we’re both men in act one.

I want to join and American Sign Language blogring, but I have to leave one of my current ones. Should I leave showchoir or American Dreams?

The Woman Who Was Not Stoned. You were caught in
the very act of adultery, then dragged out on
the streets to be stoned. But Jesus intervened
and saved you.

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman,
where are they? Has no one condemned

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus
declared. “Go now and leave your life of
sin.” – John 8:10-11

Which Biblical Slut Are You?
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You are a Babakoto
Like the Babakoto, you have a tendency to be noisy.
However, that just hides a more sensitive and
thoughtful heart. When you find your true
mate, you will hold
onto them, no matter what. And you’re big and

What Species of Lemur are you?
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You are an internet junkie. You need to get up and
go outside vs. staying online all day and
night. Also, might want to get some new
clothes, you probally gained some poundage.

Are you attached to the internet?
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You are depression/loneliness….You wish you had
somebody to love and you are very bitter when
around happy smiling couples. You spend a lot
of time alone…even though you really don’t
necessarily want to be. You go hand in hand
with my other moods, indifference and

Which of my many moods are you?
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You’re Lisa!

Which character from Saved by the Bell are you?
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Simon Cowell was voted one of People Magazine’s 25 sexiest bachelors. Hahahaha.

I found my debit card on Wednesday afternoon. It turns out, I took it to Theatrefest in January and just never took it out of my suitcase. I still can’t get my own account yet, but at least I can access my money.

On Wednesday night, when I got to rehearsal, I saw the biggest Audrey II and I crawled inside and let the mouth shut and crawled all the way through, out the back. I scraped my knee on something, but it was so worth it! That has been the highlight of my summer. It was awesome!

Today I went with Marni and my dad to see Alex and Emma. It was okay. Then we dropped Marni off here and went to eat at the Mundelein Munch. The one time in the year that I eat pork. Mmm Brother’s Ribs. They were kinda disappointing tonight though. The can of coke I got was only half full when I opened it. It reminded me of when Phoebe opened up a can of pop and found a thumb in it lol. The West Oak alumni band was playing and I swear, from where I was sitting, the keyboardist looked like Tom. And I haven’t seen him in so long and Robyn MacDougal was up there and Tini was sitting behind me, I thought maybe for some reason it WAS him, even though he didn’t go to West Oak, nor is he from Mundelein. So I asked Tini if she thought he looked like Tom and she said not at all. I really need to e-mail him. Catie Hein was there too and she sang a song with them, and I was so glad, cuz I haven’t heard her sing in over two years. I went over to say hi to her afterwards and she told me she’s recording a demo right now. So “everyone” that is reading this right now, remember the name CATIE HEIN, because soon she is going to be all over the radio and MTV!!

Then I came home and we watched Lilo & Stitch. I found it rather depressing.

Shellie invited me to go with her, Heather VanLannen (Mandy’s sister), and some of their friends to go watch the fireworks at Arlington Park. I was so excited. But she called me today to let me know that they were all going to be smoking pot on the way there (including the driver) and she wanted to let me know, because she didn’t think I’d be okay with it. Which was really nice of her. So now I’m at home with nothing to do. I really hope they don’t crash the car or anything. Please God…

I just don’t understand why people would smoke pot. And the fact taht it has spread to the performing arts department at MHS is just unbelievable. My frosh and sophomore year, almost everyone in theatre and Sound were Christians. And there is always a prayer circle before performances. Now people are getting kicked out of cast parties for being stoned and people are ditching choir to go smoke pot and they have to have dogs search everyone’s bags before showchoir trips. What the heck is happening?!

Hey kiddies, I am finally back, not that more than two of you actually read this. Well, maybe three, now that Karis has a xanga. I have finally gotten around to writing again, solely because I told Laura I would write again by today. Unfortunately, due to my major lack of attention span, this will prolly take me like an hour lol. It’s going to be a loooong time before I update on a regular basis again. maybe not even until i get to college, which Godwilling, will be in January. The reason being, I have absolutely nothing to do, unless you count obligation (it’s not even worth it to call it ‘rehearsal’) once a week. Well, Shellie invited me to go to this 6 day thing in Wisconsin next month, but it’s $40, plus food, and it’s a giant country music festival and I don’t particularly like that genre of music, nor do I have the money. And here is why I don’t have money…

I have at least $200 left over from working at Sears (crap, I still need to e-mail Tom and find out what is going on). I lost my debit card and have been trying to find it for a couple months. Ugh. So the money is MY money, but due the fact that I was 17 when I made the account, it’s under my mom’s name. So, because I am 18 now (and have been for quite a while), I can get my own account and the money can be transferred without the use of a debit card. However, a driver’s license or state ID is required to do so, and, of course, I have neither. So last week we went to the DMV to get a state ID and also to renew my permit, since it has been expired since October (How dysfunctional am I?). We were unable to attain either one, because the copy of my birth certificate that we had does not have the embossed seal on it. So they told us to go to the Cook County court house (I was born in Cook County) in Rolling Ghettos to get a copy with an embossed seal. So we went there and the computers were down so they said they would mail it to me. Well they called the next day and said they couldn’t find my birth certificate. Then they called back later and said they found it, but my last name and my dad’s last name (which are the same) are spelled wrong and we have to fill out a correction form, which they would send to us. So we got it in the mail and it costs $15 to correct it. Now, let me also say that my parents had it corrected in 1986, but Evanston Hospital never sent it to the state. So now we have to pay $15, which we don’t have, on somebody else’s mistake, that was already corrected, and I still can’t drive or access my money. DAMN EVANSTON ‘NORTHWESTERN’ HOSPITAL TO HELL!!!!!

Okay so I just took an hour break to watch Ryan Seacrest on American Juniors lol. So it’s about 8pm Central and I should, hopefully, be finished writing by the time Real World is on in an hour.

Saved by the Bell: The College Years is so old that when it was on, there were only 103 chemical elements. Hahahaha.

So on Father’s day we went to dinner and a movie (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days). The movie was really good and Mr Laupin from Viva Variety was in it haha. My dad also bought me the 1200 question collector’s edition FRIENDS trivia game. I brought it to obligation a few days later and played with Shellie and Kristina. I finished in about 5 minutes and 45 minutes later they were both still playing and nowhere NEAR being finished and I was STILL answering the questions haha.

Lindsay and Kelly keep asking me to help them with their notes. I feel so musically inclined. Especially coming from Kelly, because she is Crystal (alto doo wop girl).

Karis got mad that I didn’t go see David Schwimmer. She took it harder than I did haha.

Oh yeah so Shellie invited me to her birthday party later this month. This guy Josh (that I have never met) is gonna be there. I saw him as the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz at Round Lake HS and thought he was kinda cute. I only saw him from far away. He is supposedly as obssesed with FRIENDS as I am, though it’s highly unlikely and Shellie says that he looks like David Schwimmer lol. I’m supposed to help him get over his ex girlfriend apparently. I’ll just turn on the ‘sluttiness’ lol.

I had a dream two days ago that I was at a party at Karis’s house (which for some reason looked like the MHS theatre stage and tech room) and, for some reason, Brandon was there. He kissed me. I’m not gonna lie, it was good, but I didn’t kiss him back and then he tried to kiss me again and I wouldn’t let him and he asked me what my problem was. Hello! Then later I was laying on him. It was weird. I wish I could just forget about him forever and never have to think about him again. Grrr!!

So what do we think of the new colours on this page? No, I really don’t care what anyone else thinks, cuz I really like them.

Tom Green’s new talk show started last week, hooray!

The new Ren and Stimpy show is incredibly disgusting and I am never watching it again. It’s too gross, even for my dad.

Blake is finally over me.

There is something wrong with my lungs and I have to go to the doctor sometime this week. I don’t know what could be wrong; I don’t smoke. Ugh.

If anyone is actually reading this, go to and find Mundelein High School and give John Neubauer a bad rating!

I talked to Brittany Walker the other day for over an hour. Apparently I gave her a senior pic and she keeps it in her wallet, awww. We haven’t been friends since freshman year, we drifted. I think partly because she told me I shouldn’t be with Brandon and anyone who told me that angered me. Stupid Brandon!!! Anyway, she and I are going to beocme friends again, it was agreed. Hooray!

I watched City of Angels the other day when it was on. I really like that movie. It was only the second time I’d seen it. The only problem I have with it, though, is that if it was REAL, Seth would not have had sex with Maggie before they were married, because he used to be a messenger of God, right? Of course right. But I really like that movie and it makes me feel like there really are angels watching out for us. I like to think that when we die we can come back and watch over whomever we want. The passed couple days I have really felt like something is following me around. I don’t think it’s anything bad, I just with I could see it and talk to it, like Maggie could with Seth. And now some songs about angels…

Sarah MacLachlan (there ya go, Laura)

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it okay
There’s always some reason to feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty or weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference, escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
You’re in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

Robbie Williams

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we’re grey and old
”Cause I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I’m lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
When I come to call she won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead
When I’m feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

Calling All Angels

I need a sign to let me know you’re here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
‘Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
I need a sign to let me know you’re here
‘Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
And I’m calling all angels
I’m calling all you angels
When children have to play inside so they don’t disappear
And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don’t talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
and losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it’s ours
I’m calling all angels
I’m calling all you angels

Heaven Hop
Anything Goes
Cole Porter

Up in Heaven’s happy portals, where the parties never stop
All the debonaire immortals do a dance called “The Heaven Hop.”
In this big celestial center,
It’s the only dance they do.
So before you try to enter,
You better start doin it too!

Spread your wings and start them flapping
Lift your feet and set them tapping
Start right now and do the Heaven Hop, Hop, the Heaven Hop
Wag your ankles to that meter,
Let your shoulders gently teeter
If you want to please St Peter,
Take up the Heaven Hop.

When the angels play low on their harps of gold,
Kneel and pray low,
Then get up and shake your halo!
Let that rhythm filter through ya,
Till you holler “Hallelujah!”
Start right now and do the Heaven Hop, Hop the Heaven Hop.

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