The thing the other day about life ending up like the movies…I lost sight of the point I was trying to make. And that is that life IS perfect, because it is a gift from God. The end.
Note to self: when making a PRIVATE entry, make sure to click PRIVATE entry BEFORE submitting it.
Despite the extra hour last night, I woke up this morning at like 8:30 and I couldn’t go back to sleep. It was really annoying. Someone on my buddy list had the away message “Why can’t real life ever end up like it does in the movies?” I’m sure he wasn’t expecting anyone to respond, but I had nothing better to do, so I decided to e-mail him a response. And I thought I might post it here (yeah yeah…conversationy…whatever). I’m really sorry if part of it offends anyone…
Why CAN’T real life ever end up like it does in the movies? We have ALL wondered this before. The reason is because real life is non fiction and movies are fiction. Everyone has problems and frustrations and movies were invented so people can take 90 minutes out of their stressful lives and escape into a life where everything ends perfectly, both the viewers and the actors. Because everyone wants their life to be like the movies. PERFECT. I think we’re so busy fixating on how everything on tv and in movies has a happy ending, we fail to see the middle of the plot, where the problems are. People die. People overdose. People lose their jobs. But it always ends up exactly the way it is supposed to, and THAT is what makes it PERFECT. “Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.” God is in control. That’s all you need to worry about. People are dumb, they make bad choices. You do it, I do it, everyone does it. And choices have consequences. And some of the consequences we see in life, are not necessarily consequences of OUR actions, or actions of people close to us, but those of Adam and Eve. People were meant to live forever. In nature’s beauty. Naked. But because of that ONE piece of fruit, we have MORE sinning, death, the realization that we are naked and need to wear clothes. Not your fault, not my fault, but other peoples’ actions effect (affect?) us too, whether we have done anything to deserve the consequences or not. Our World Trade Center was bombed. I don’t remember doing anything to make my country look like it wanted to be bombed. I didn’t go over to Afghanistan and say “Hey, my country is better than yours, why don’t you come try to ruin us?” I didn’t do that, did you? No, I didn’t think so. And because of the choices that we all make, knowing that our actions affect (effect?) others, we know that there will always be consequences, both positive and negative, and because of the ups and downs in life, and the fact that is is never up 100% of the time, we need to realize that life will never be perfect. What we think is perfect anyway. But what is perfect? Everything being fine and dandy 100% of the time. Always getting your way. Nothing bad EVER happening to you or anyone in your life. We all know that doesn’t exist, so why do we keep thinking that it’s going to be like that? God has given us life. It is a matter of what we choose to do with it. Are we going to sin or are we going to follow God’s rules? We are going to sin, because that is human nature. But we have control over HOW MUCH we sin. Hooray for not doing drugs and waiting for marriage to have sex. People have pain and they want to escape. That’s why people act. So they can be someone else. But other people find different ways. Unhealthy ways. When I was in 8th grade, a bunch of my close friends were cutting themselves and trying drugs. And these were people I went to youth group with. People that BROUGHT me there! And it was hurting me to know that they were doing that to themselves. I didn’t understand then, and I still don’t now. Gilda Radner said “It’s not what happens in life, but how you handle it.” This is a woman who was obese as a child and was made fun of for it. Her father died of cancer when she was young. Later on in life she became bullimic and started sleeping around. She was part of the original cast of Saturday Night Live, so she did cocaine too. She died of Ovarian Cancer in 1989. She didn’t handle pain very well until the end of her life. Movies usually have happy endings. Yes, this is true. But Miss Dabelow once said that when we watch a movie or a play, we’re coming into the story in the middle of these peoples’ lives, and we’re leaving in the middle too. She’s right. We don’t know what happens to them when the movie is over. We just assume that they live happily ever after. Because that’s what we WANT to believe. But the truth is, their lives could go way downhill after the movie ends. We don’t know. So we shouldn’t assume that just cuz the movie ends well, that their lives end well. My Big Fat greek Wedding ended happily. They got married, they moved in next door to her parents, they had a kid. Then they had a tv show. It only lasted a few episodes. Maybe they just didn’t want to have My Big Fat Greek Divorce. You never know! EVERYONE has pain it IS just a matter of how you handle it. Do we need drugs? No! Do we need sex? No! Do we need God? YES! And that is ALL we need. He will help us get through ANYTHING. We just need to stick with Him and trust in Him. And we WILL get through everything.
I made the last two entries for myself. I need to focus on the positive and not the negative, and those were just reminders. I had no idea that the last one was going to have such a positive effect (affect?) on so many other people too. I am really glad it did though, and I really appreciate all the comments about it, on my site and also on other peoples’. I took Jennie’s advice and turned it into a chain letter, slightly modified. I was hoping people would fwd it, but it doesn’t look like that is happening. Unless people are just not fwding it to ME, because I am the one who made it. Oh well. I did, however, hear back from Laura Bjorn and Jenna, who also liked it. And it was nice because I have not talked to either of them in a long time. I also decided that I was going to send it to Brandon and Patrick. But then I decided that I WASN’T, because I was afraid of what they would say, especially Brandon. But I can’t be afraid anymore, so I sent it. I am almost positive that Brandon will tell me that it’s gay, and that I am a ‘cyco,’ which is how he thinks ‘psycho’ is spelled. I’m not trying to be mean, but I find that quite amusing.
Anyway, speaking of the two of them, as of yesterday I have officially forgiven myself for doing things with Patrick that should not have been done. And also for the WHOLE Brandon mess. And once I forgave myself for Brandon, I realised that it is NOT MY FAULT. Fine, I didn’t have to be ‘involved’ with him, but he didn’t have to say or do anything bad. And I am not mad at him. I think I was more mad at myself than at him. But I got over being mad at him a long time ago, I was just really hurt. Which is understandable, because he hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me before. But I think I can finally stop obsessing over this now. Thank God. I guess I was wrong, I DON’T need to see a psychiatrist about this. Just God. And I definitely have God.
I went to Family Video last night for my first day on the job and after about three minutes, they decided that they don’t want me until December. I am not allowed to work passed 10:30pm on school nights until I am done with the semester and they want me until midnight 30 everyday. They are very inflexible. At least they are allowing me to come back in December. So I guess I won’t have money for a couple months. But I have already committed to going to see Little Shop at MHS on Saturday. After that, no more spending money. And it is good that I don’t have a job right now, because I really need to do a lot of driving and get my license before it starts snowing! I had better hurry.
I am starting to think that maybe God does NOT want me to watch Joan of Arcadia. I already mentioned what happened last week, and tonight I missed like five minutes of it because there was an Amber alert in Lake County and they were talking over it. If it gets interrupted one more time, I will take that as a sign from God and stop watching it.
Umm Friends was actually pretty good this week and there wasn’t a WHOLE lot of sex in it, which is good. I still feel bad about watching it, but there are only 14 episodes left, and it’s not like I am watching re-runs anymore. A couple things though…one, they make a really big deal about how Rachel’s driver’s license expired years ago and she never got it renewed (this was mentioned in more than one episode), but on Thursday she went driving and left her license at home. Hmm. Also, I could clearly see the tan line from Jennifer Aniston’s wedding ring. They should have covered that with makeup, because Rachel is not married and should not have a wedding ring tan line. Or maybe Jennifer Aniston should just not go skin cancering.
A few days ago I was watching an episode of 7th Heaven from last season (I don’t watch this show very often. It’s just one of those shows where you can come in and out of because you know exactly what is going on within a few minutes). This girl Roxanne was on a first date with the new associate pastor and she asked him if there is anything in The Ten Commandments about premarital sex and he said no. That bothers me. No, that REALLY bothers me. Thou shalt not commit adultery. I really wish the writers would have CHECKED before writing that script. There are only TEN commandments, it’s not hard to find…
It’s really nice that all these people that I know are getting xangas now, because I really like reading other peoples’ journals, and I only like to read the ones of those I know. But, because I know that I actually have an audience now, I feel like my journals may be becoming less of journals and more of conversations. I am going to try to limit that though.
On that note…
Melody, I think I owe you a big apology. I thought you were really stupid for quitting Sound. I didn’t understand and I didn’t think it was fair. I really wanted to be in it, ever since I saw them perform at Sandburg in like 6th grade. And you had a chance to be in it. And I was really mad that you would throw that away when some of us can’t even get into it. Well, I understand now and I see now why you did it. And I am very sorry.
Th-th-th-th-th-that’s all, folks!
I love knowing that I have made someone smile. Even better, that I have made them laugh.
I love giving people bandaids from my huge stash of them that I keep in my purse.
I love hearing “I’ll talk to you later,” because I don’t think people say that if they don’t mean it.
I love knowing that people read my journal.
I love it when people ask me for help at school, because they think that I’m smart.
I love getting compliments from guys who I know have no interest in ever dating me.
I love knowing when I am on someone’s buddy list.
I love inside jokes…when I’m on the inside.
I love knowing that someone is out there for me.
I love knowing that things are going to get better.
I love knowing that people care about me, even if they don’t show it.
I love it when people call me “kiddo,” even though I make a big deal about how I hate it.
I love that I have stopped swearing again.
I love that God has changed me so much in the past two months.
I love that there is a lesson to be learned from everything.
I love it when people ask me for help with their notes, even if I don’t sing their part.
I love that I can’t hate anyone, no matter how hard I try.
I love it when people make fun of me, because I know they care.
I love it when I hear from people that I have not heard from in a while.
I love knowing that God has a plan for me.
I love my Dad’s spaghetti sauce.
I love my Dad.
I love my Mom and Marni, even though they really piss me off.
I love God.
I love the song “Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band, and I wish people would listen to the message.
I love that sometimes it takes me a couple minutes to get a joke, because then I laugh at it harder.
I love laughing.
I love Eagleman commercials.
I love it when I forgot to ask my mom for something from the grocery store and she brings it home.
I love that I can be Jewish AND believe in Jesus.
I love that you can order alcoholic drinks without alcohol (especially virgin strawberry daquiris).
I love that I can keep my morals in such an immoral society.
I love everyone who is on my list. And everyone who is not. And Paula Abdul.
I love that some of you actually got that joke.
I love it when people laugh at my jokes. Especially the bad ones.
I love laughing at my own jokes.
I love that even though life is not always kind to me, I still have a family, clothes, food, and a roof over my head.
I love when I understand jokes and have to explain them to people.
I love toe socks.
I love monkeys.
I love toe socks with monkeys on them.
I love finding old greeting cards from people.
I love candy and drinks that turn my mouth blue.
I love online journals.
I love knowing that my prayers have been answered.
I love OCB.
I love knowing specifically that God has put someone in my life, even though I know He has put everyone in my life for a reason.
I love that I have been single for 2 1/2 years and I am completely fine with it.
I love when boys can admit that they cry.
I love finding out that people believe in God and pray on their own.
I love finding out that people are saving themselves for marriage. Especially boys.
I love Australian accents.
I love the way my name is spelled.
I love Thin Mints.
I love it when people from Poland are impressed with the few Polish words that I know.
I love that it’s such a small world that we live in.
I love Portillo’s cheeseburgers with mustard and pickles.
I love birth control pills and that I am not taking them for sex.
I love purple.
I love that I have memories and things to love.
I love me.
For years I have just wanted to get away from everything Mundelein. And I have pretty much stopped talking to almost everyone I know from here. But it’s making me happy to hear from Melody and Melissa. Maybe because I don’t think anyone reads this, and it is nice to see that people actually do. Or maybe because I was thinking about how I haven’t felt welcome at Calvary since 8th grade, and I haven’t really been friends with them since then. Or maybe it’s because I just don’t feel like anyone from Mundelein cares about me at all. But I know there are some people here who care about me. Or who used to. When I didn’t think they did. And maybe they don’t anymore. So I am going to make a list of people from Mundelein (or who used to live here) who I remember as being nice to me at one point in my life (even if it was just from saying hi to me a couple times). Even if they have really hurt me later on. Or maybe they just aren’t around anymore. And some of these people I don’t even really like anymore. I doubt I will remember everyone who belongs on this list. I am starting all the way at the beginning (when I was three) and working my way up until 18. And some of these people I met when I was younger than when they are listed, but I didn’t talk to them until later. And in some cases I didn’t meet their parents until later, but I tried to put everyone’s parents with them. And these are only people who live in Mundelein, or went to Mundelein High School.
Colin and Ineke Michaelis
Mrs and Mrs Parillo
Mr and Mrs Aboav
Jennie and Doug Freund
Mr and Mrs Scarbrough
Mr and Mrs Calvin
Mr and Mrs Piper
Sara! Jane Schaul
Mr and Mrs Latham
Mr and Mrs Stratman
Matt and Peggy LaPierre
Erin Laurel Sprague
Mr and Mrs Sprague
Ryan “Bagel” Koegel
Rick and Lynne Shenk
Mr and Mrs Parks
Mr and Mrs Victor
Mrs and Mrs Heroux
Mary Cate Baker
Amy “Starla Jean” Horak
Brian T. Clark
Mr and Mrs Munley
This list is pretty long and it took me at least an hour and a half to make. Most of these people I am no longer in contact with, but I guess I don’t give people as much credit as they deserve.
And I put Brian’s name in bold, because he gave me a chance when nobody else would. And he’s the last person in the world who should have. And he’s been there for me everytime I have needed him, for close to two years. I know you don’t read this, Brian, but I could never be able to thank you enough. You have no idea what you have done for me.
Jessica Simpson: You smell like an incent.
Nick Lachey: You mean incense?
Jessica Simpson: Don’t make fun of me, Nick.
From now on, I am going to refer to Sweetest Day as Valentines Day: The Sequel.
Okay, now let’s talk about hot guys and the third most recognized phone number in the country. Yes, you all know it…588-2300. Okay, so, like, Drew definitely filmed a commercial for them and I am very excited to see it. He said it should start airing soon. I guess in the commercial he is coming home from college or something. He said it’s really hokey. And, yes, I am talking about hot, unreliable Drew who wanted me to take him to prom last year and I didn’t. And when I say hot, I mean he’s, hands down, the best looking male I have EVER seen in my LIFE! No lie, he could turn straight guys gay. I wish I could get a picture of him on here, but I only know how to get pics on here that are on the internet. But I do have a picture of him if anyone wants me to e-mail it. So be on the look out for the hot guy in a new Empire commercial, and when you see him, just think to yourself, “Jami is the one who has his phone number…”
There was a fire in Chicago on Friday night and they decided to take the last FIFTY minutes of Joan of Arcadia to broadcast it. I am sad. I LOVE that show!!!
Okay, let’s talk about Shellie. No, she’s not Shellie to me anymore; she’s Michelle Nicole (look I figured out how to do italics and stuff). I am too hurt for her to be Shellie. Emma IMed me the other day saying that Michelle Nicole told her that I’ve been telling everyone that I like Ian and have fantasies about him. That is very uncool, because I have NEVER said ANYTHING of that sort. Not even JOKINGLY. And if that is not bad enough, she told that to Julie too!!! And now Julie is freaking out. So I e-mailed Julie and asked her about it and now I am just waiting for her to repsond. When I asked Michelle Nicole about it, she said I shouldn’t waste my time worrying about what Emma says. She beat around the bush. But, I knew Blake would be honest, so I asked him if she says anything about me. And he said she says a lot of things, but the jist is that she doesn’t like me. I don’t understand. She is supposed to be my friend. My GOOD friend. She has NO reason in the world to NOT like me. NOBODY from Round Lake Community Theatre has ANY reason not to like me. NOT A ONE. ESPECIALLY, not her!!! If she doesn’t like me, then why does she invite me to do all these things like staying over at her house and letting me borrow her pajamas because I didn’t plan to spend the night? And why does she tell me all these personal things? Things that she doesn’t even tell Kristina!!! I don’t understand. I don’t understand at all. I should have known from all the crap she says about Heather behind her back. I happen to like Heather! Well, at least Michelle Nicole will not be returning to RLAPD Community Theatre. Every time I think I have finally found a friend, it turns out that I’m wrong. Have you ever seen or read The Lottery, where every year they pick a name out of a box and then stone the person to death, just because their name was drawn? That’s how I feel, emotionally. I feel like everyone has gotten together and decided to stone me, just because my name was drawn. And I’m not going to lie, it really bites. But I am not going to let myself sink back into depression. It’s just not something that is going to happen. Because things are going to be different. And it’s going to be real soon. I know it. I can feel it.
“Everyone’s got to face down their demons. Maybe, today, you can put the past away.” -Third Eye Blind
Michelle, OTHER Michelle, GOOD Michelle, Michelle Dwyer, invited me to this dinner at Calvary last night. And I would have gone, but the reason I stopped going, is because I haven’t felt welcome there since 8th grade. I just need to stop letting people get to me. I should have gone.
On a lighter note, this is from last week…
Jami: Does Philadelphia have an el in it?
Jami: Oh, I thought we were the only city with an el in it.
Mom: *Gives Jami confused look*
Mom: Chicago doesn’t have an “L” in it.
Jami: I meant the train…
It’s Sweetest Day. And I’m single. And I don’t even care. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!
I stole this from Melissa Plucinski’s Journal, because it fits with what I’ve been thinking about the past couple of months. Unfortunately, i don’t know where she got it from. So, Melissa, if you would like to add a comment on here where you got that from, that would be great.
Everyone longs to give themself to someone- to have a deep soul relationship with another- to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But GOD, to a christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone- with giving yourself totally and unreserved to Me alone- having an intensly personal relationship with Me, discovering that in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you, the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. Keep listening and hearing the things I promise and mean. Be patient-that’s all. Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look at things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don’t keep looking off and away from Me, or you will miss all that I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I’ll suprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready ( I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), and until you are both satisfied with Me and the life that I want you to live, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me- a perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer. Know that I love you utterly. Believe this, and be satisfied.”
E-mail from Christi 10/15/03 1:46PM
Hello, everyone! I have finally decided to try an email newsletter to keep
everyone updated on what the theatre is up to. I put in every e-mail I
could find and/or read into this list . So if you know someone who would
like to be on it just send me their names and e-mail addresses and I will
put them on.
Likewise, if you do not wish to receive this newsletter please let me know
and I will take you off!
by Agatha Christie
Our first adult non-musical play will be performed at the Round Lake Area
Park District Community Center located at 814 Hart Road
October 31 Nov 1 & 8 at 7:00p.m. and Nov 2 & 9 at 2:00p.m.
It is directed by Margaret Shultz Hughes of Zion and promises to be a
Tickets are $5 for adults. Due to its subject matter and length this show
is really not appropriate for young children.
The Magical Pied Piper
Our annual fall children’s musical is — November 21 & 22 at 7:00p.m. and
Nov 23 at 2:00p.m. at the Community Center.
This show features over 40 performers of all ages and is fun for the whole
family. It is approximately 1 hour long
Tckets are $5 for adult and $3 for adults.
Rodgers’ and Hammerstein’s
Auditions Dec 5 & 6 at 6:30p.m. at the Community Center Callbacks Dec 7
Roles are available for 6 principle females, 5 principle males and a large
mixed chorus ages 8-adult
As always auditions consist of cold-reading from the script and singing
music from the show. Rehearsals begin in January. Performances are
scheduled for Feb 27 & 28 March 5,6,&7
Cinderella Audition Workshop
Dec 1 at 6:30p.m at the Community Center
Get a head start on the audition material– open to all interested people
but not required to audition!!!!
Spirit Apparel Sale!!
We are currently selling garments with our theatre logo on them. We have
t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, baby T’s, hooded sweatshirts, polo shirts,
baseball jerseys and crewneck sweatshirts available.
Everything is under $20 (add $3 for XXL Sizes) and has the Round Lake Area
Park District Community Theatre logo on it!
If you are interested in ordering call or e-mail me and I will get you an
order form. The orders and money need to be in by Oct 27 so act fast!!!!!
Well thats all that is happening right now. If you have any questions
about any of the events please call or e-mail me.
Artistic Director, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theatre
P.S. I am choosing the next season already! (Yeah I know its early!) Send
me any suggestions you might have for shows. I’m wavering about Guys and
Dolls next summer–maybe Into The Woods instead? maybe something else?.
Let me know what you think!
Jami’s response 10/15/03 1:48PM
fiddler on the roof!!! please, for the love of God, fiddle ron the roof!!! i’ll teach everyone to be jewish!!! or crazy for you. we can learn to tap dance!! or babes in arms..i’ll come up with more later. but fiddler on the roof is such a large cast!! we’ll find people to play tevye and golde and lazar wolf and yenta…i can go into a synogague. PLEASE!!! i like the newsletter
Jami’s second response 10/15/03 10:25PM
here’s why i don’t think you should choose into the words as the summer show.
a) it’s sondheim and sondheim is hard
2) it’s a fairly small cast and there is no chorus, plus a couple of the guys will need to play two parts (ie the wolf and one of the princes are the same actor), which limits the cast even more
c) it’s faerie tales, and it will be only a couple months after cinderella, and cinderella is an integral part of the plot of into the words. i think it would be better if there is more of a variety than two faerie tale shows really close to each other
i suggest doing footloose. i don’t really know a lot about it, but i know it’s got a pretty big cast. or you can do fiddler on the roof. or seussical. the rights to seussical will be available sometime in january of 2004. or you can do fiddler on the roof. or, since we live in a society where people think it’s funny to watch others get hurt, you can do starlight express and everyone can skate into each other and the scenery at 40mph and have to go to the hospital and the audience will leave cracking up. or you can do fiddler on the roof. or you can do the donkey show, which is a disco musical version of a midsummer night’s dream. or you can do fiddler on the roof. or you can be brave and try an improvised musical (like baby wants candy or musical! the musical). or you can do fiddler on the roof. have i suggested fiddler on the roof yet?
Christi’s response 10/16/03 10:00AM
Yeah thats what is swimming around my head as far as Into The Woods goes
too. But it is a great show. The show is bigger than you think about 20
roles when all is said and done. Yes I think I got the Message — Jami
would like to do Fiddler on the Roof –I’ll make a note :o) Thanks for
your suggestions. I have lots of decisions to make!