<—–New pic. Look at my tan lines lol.
I’ve wanted to update since Friday night, but I couldn’t do this until after Matt left work. And if you keep reading, you’ll find out why.
Yeah, so my layout is gone. I want it back. NOW.
Oh, hey, I don’t think I mentioned school plans yet. Okay, I haven’t heard from Harper in a few months, so I decided to just go to CLC for the fall. Plus, I don’t have to pay for CLC and Harper is $327/cr hr. So, I signed up. But I guess now I’m just going to get a general AA from CLC. Which means no more ASL. Okay, anyway, here is my schedule for the fall.
Abnormal Psychology 10:00-10:50am
English Composition 1 11:00-11:50am
American Popular Culture 12:00-12:50pm
Professional Helping Skills 7:00-9:45pm
And then Wednesday and Friday are the same except no Professional Helping Skills. And I have off of Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I’d been getting pretty anxious for Matt to kiss me, so I thought of something to say, that might nudge him a little. But I am dumb and wound up saying it on Wednesday morning while we were at work. He had gotten his CPR certification earlier in the summer and I know he’s a germ freak, so I was like “Wouldn’t you have a problem with that?” Haha I am soooo dumb.
Hmm let’s see. I came back from lunch a half hour late on Friday because I was talking to Baker. Erik told me I should think of someone else instead of myself, and then Jorge gave me a verbal warning about it yesterday. Anyway, Erik wanted to know what we were talking about and I said he wanted to know why I quit. And Erik, who the only time I’d ever talked to him before was when he interviewed me for the job, said “I think you quit because you don’t like the way Jorge runs things up there and you’re getting in trouble for telling people they don’t deserve to have radios.” What the hell?! First of all, he doesn’t know me at all and second of all I would NEVER tell anyone they didn’t deserve to have a radio! Ugh. Soo glad I’m leaving.
Friday night I took Matt to Olive Garden for his birthday (which is actually the 29th). He was so red when they sang to him. He told me I’m the first girl friend he’s ever had. That’s crazy/ Then I took him to see Bourne Supremacy at Lincolnshire 20. Such a boy movie! But I was happy because we were able to hold hands and cuddle…for the last time. How sad. But I felt pretty dumb when half way through the movie, he lifted up the arm rest. Haha oh man.
After the movie we walked outside and ti was dark and cold outside.
Matt: Hey, look, a shooting star. And it’s blinking!
Jami: Hey, look, it’s called an airplane.
I was really cold. My teeth were chattering. But I know what I want and there was something more important than going home to be warm. You know what I’m tlaking about.
Jami: There’s a pond over there…
Jami: Over yonder.
Matt: Oh, it’s too bad you;’re cold or else we could go see it.
Jami: No, no that’s okay.
Lol. So we walked over to the pond…you all know what’s coming…lol…and we talked for a while. And I said “So this is the last time I’ll see you outside of work.” And I cried. And he held me and wiped away my tears. And then we were hugging and looking at each other and I was losing my patience, and this is what was going through my head:
Now that you are finally free
And we’re underneath the stars like a fantasy
Just forget about her, cuz it is all about me
What you waiting for?
Wanna take a ride
What you waiting for
Or a walk outside
What you waiting for
It’s the perfect night
What you waiting for
Why don’t you just kiss me
We are all alone
Talkin’ on and on
The night is almost gone
Why don’t you just kiss me
Why don’t you just hold me tight
Move a little closer I won’t bite
Kiss me once and kiss me twice
Kiss me boy, Oh kiss this girl
Haha yeah. Okay, so I feel bad abou the “forget about her, cuz it’s all about me,” but I’m not the one who wrote the song! Anyway, it felt like forever that we were just standing there and then he FINALLY kissed me. Oh man, I thought I was gonna die just standing there waiting for it. But I am glad it finally happened. And I know you folks at home are too. Anyway, afterwards he was like “I hope you don’t get the wrong impression from that.” And I was kind of offended, but at the same time I was kind of relieved, because I don’t want him to like me. Anyway, it was even MORE like Lost in Translation because of that. I’ve been wanting a close friend like this for the longest time and I am so happy. I just wish we lived closer to each other so we can still hang out. I’ve never had a friend like him before. Oh but he was like “You can’t write this in your xanga.” And I was like “I’m ahead of you. I knew this was going to happen and I decided I wouldn’t write about it until Sunday night, so by the time people find out, you’ll be gone.” And he said that was okay.
Yesterday morning I FINALLY got a radio again. Then I got up to the front gates and Jorge made me give it to David. Bah.
After work Matt just seemed like he didn’t want to talk to me at all and I expected it to be the same today.
Then I went to Buffalo Grove to try out to be an extra in the remake of the movie The Amityville Horror. Dunno when I’ll find out. But this was my fourth time trying for a movie and I didn’t get in before, so I’m not counting on it.
I woke up sad this morning. It was Matt’s last day and I knew Jorge wouldn’t let us talk to each other.
I heard “Time of Your Life” by Green Day on the radio and some lyrics stuck out to me.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why.
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
Yeah, so I know why God brought me to Great America. There were a few reasons: I needed to meet Jim and learn from that mistake, I needed to know someone would hire me, I needed to do something other than sitting on my butt all summer, and I needed money. But most of all, because of Matt. And now that he is gone, it’s okay for me to leave. I didn’t plan to leave on purpose just because I knew he was going to be leaving. But that is what happened.
When I got to work it seemed like he didn’t even really want to talk to me and he was kinda saying that he didn’;t really wanna be on a detector near me. Then we go to dispatch and my name wasn’t even on the fucking attendence sheet. We got out to the front and put our stuff down on 20 (me) and 18 (him), cuz 18 was open. We set up and then he went off somewhere and talked to other people and I showed Maggie how to get to bathroom 1a. When I came back, my stuff was moved to 19, which wasn’t open and Anthony was fucking on 20. I was like “What the hell?” And he said Mike said I’m down somewhere else. So I had a cow and he let me go on 20, cuz it really wasn’t fair. My hat was there!
Anyway, Jorge saw us on 18 and 20 and looked pretty mad, but we weren’;t next to each other, so he couldn’t do anything. Jason was up there today. He sent Matt and I on our 15 together. Then we came back for a little while and I asked Jason if we could go on lunch together since it was his last day. I got shut down and he told me if I sent Delores on lunch, he’d guarantee that Matt and I could go on lunch together. So I did. And we did. And we sat with lots of security people, so we didn’t really get to talk. Then we got back and Jason put us on detectors next to each other. Jorge saw that, as well as us going to lunch together. He looked SO mad, but he put Jason in charge of sending people on breaks and stuff, so what could he do?
So the long day FINALLY ended. And I didn’t want to say goodbye to him. He said he’ll come by on his way to Indiana in a few weeks, but still. That seems so far away after seeing him like everyday. Anyway, we were in the parking lot. Talking. Hugging. I wanted to kiss him again before he left. So I was gonna be like “So I’m gonna write about it tonight.” But he beat me to it. And then we were just looking at each other and he said “Do you want to kiss?” I was like “That was subtle.” Lol. So we kissed a couple times. I didn’t really cry, because I know we’re gonna go through this again in three weeks.
spectorjl12: yeah, i saw u to in the parkinglot when we got off
spectorjl12: it looked like u were kissing
And then I came home and saw that comment from Karis. And THEN I started crying. I really miss her.
And this entry took me at least two and a half hours to write, because I’m just thinking a lot and I have ADD.
Oh, here is the quote of the day. Matt was making fun of Josh this morning when he was set back cuz he kept coming up and talking to me, cuz Anthony always does that. I call it Set Back ADD and we tried to have an intervention at lunch lol. Anyway…
Josh: Or I can be like Jim and stand here and stare at the sky and say ‘I’m in charge, I’m in charge, I’m in charge.’