Month: June 2005

Fiyero is an IDiot. Hehe.

Maybe I need some Thorazine anyway?

No, because my Dopamine levels don’t need to be lowered anymore than they already are. Plus I don’t want to risk getting Parkinson’s.

Now I am just showing off.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if I just didn’t do any of my papers?

I greatly want to punch Fiyero in the face, but then I would be Jack’s inflamed sense of misdirection and I would need some Thorazine.

Oh I am soooo tired and my eye is all red. I cannot believe teachers find it necessary to assign such long papers. I am so lightheaded now too. I am trying to think of something stupid/crazy I have done in the past for the sole reason I was overtired, but everything I can think of I did while I was not overtired. Or undertired. I hope I never get undertired. That would hurt. *giggle*

You can tell I am trying to write a paper when I make at least one or two random posts on a weeknight between like 4am and 9am ish. And sometimes I post stuff that really doesn’t belong on here. Like this:

VIAGRA SPILL REVIVES LAKE MICHIGAN
Once-Cold and Torpid, Waterway Now Greatest of Great Lakes

Chicago (SatireWire.com) — A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no longer dangles into Illinois and Indiana, but now spans majestically across northern Wisconsin.

According to eyewitnesses, roughly 30 to 60 minutes after the ship’s contents dissolved, the lake slowly but firmly began to push northwest toward Minnesota. Eventually, its swollen banks managed to poke aside Lake Superior, which cartographers said will lose its standing as the largest of the Great Lakes for the next four to six hours.

Area residents were surprised by the sudden shift, but conceded Michigan was “like an entirely new lake.”

“For so many years that lake just, you know, sat there,” said Martha Strop of Eau Claire, Wisc. “To be honest, I never even thought about it anymore. There wasn’t much of a point. But now, well, this has changed our lives forever.”

Government officials, however, were more cautious.

In Wisconsin, Gov. Scott McCallum declared a state of emergency, while in Minnesota, Gov. Jesse Ventura declared: “Is Lake Michigan a threat, or is it just glad to see me?”

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

Time-Lapse Satellite Images

Sorry

Dear Baskin Robbins:

We don’t like eating macaroons one week per year. Why, WHY would you make them into ice cream? Oy.

P.S. I like how you specifically said that they are coconut macaroons, implying that there is another kind.

Well I am thinking that the excitement of this job may start to pick up in a couple weeks. I went to eat there today with Cadi from English (yes that’s how she spells her name, no she has not seen Mean Girls), and found out that Lindsay [Binkley] starts training on Tuesday to be a Tour Guide!!! Yay I miss talking to her.

Umm…does somebody want to tell me why Jaime Teresi is an intern at my radio station? That is…I’m half asleep. I thought I was insane when I saw this other picture from far away and it said intern Jaime but then I went looking for more. That is crazy. Does anybody talk to her?

Ohhhhh FREAKING OUT. My Mother just informed me that is is very likely that we will be moving within the next two years. She doesn’t know where or when. Oh my gosh I hate it here so much but I don’t want to leave. I hate change and this is all I know. Well, all I remember anyway. I’ve lived in this house since I was three. Oh my gosh. NO LIKE. JAMI NO HAPPY. I am seriously upset by this.

Okay I guess you don’t pay enough attention to my life to understand the joke so I will explain it to you and anyone else who doesn’t get it.

My id ALWAYS tells me not to do my schoolwork. That has happened my ENTIRE life. I am pretty sure its biggest enemy, other than my superego, would be schoolwork and sometimes it seems that is the only thing my id does not like. Or else I just notice it more because that is what I submit to most often.

Anyway, if you pay attention to the first part od “Dancing Through Life,” you will realise that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with DANCING, and is, in fact, Fiyero telling everyone it’s stupid to care about school and the like. And, in turn, winds up getting his brain revoked. I may not use my brain very often, but I would like very much to keep it, as I am ALREADY an airhead and I am concerned that my head may actually just fly away without anything in it.

The trouble with school is
They always try to teach the wrong lesson
Believe me, I’ve been kicked out
Of enough of them to know
They want you to become less callow
Less shallow
But I say why invite stress in?
Stop studying strife
And learn to live the unexamined life

Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life’s more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard
When it’s so soothing
Dancing through life
No need to tough it
When you can sluff it off as I do
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It’s just life
So keep dancing through

Dancing through life
Swaying and sweeping
And always keeping cool
Life is fraught-less
When you’re thoughtless
Those who don’t try
Never look foolish
Dancing through life
Mindless and careless
Make sure you’re where less
Trouble is rife
Woes are fleeting
Blows are glancing
When you’re dancing
Through life

Story. of. my. life.

So, my id shall, henceforth, be known as Fiyero.

Well I have a better idea than doing Semester at Sea next summer. (Obviously I’m supposed to be writing a paper right now lol). Thanx to my Messianic group on MySpace…there is a Messianic college in Israel that offers a summer program and it would be at least $15,000 less, plus I’d be getting more hours. Oh my gosh that would be AMAZING.