Month: May 2006

Jami86e (12:20:47 AM): did i talk to you yesterday?
twztdbuttafly420 (12:21:45 AM): no.
Jami86e (12:22:00 AM): so i didn’t tell you about the 35 year old divorced smoking sarafi guide who asked me out?
twztdbuttafly420 (12:22:46 AM): NO
Jami86e (12:23:00 AM): big black guy named darius. just started working there last week
twztdbuttafly420 (12:24:17 AM): oh my
twztdbuttafly420 (12:24:23 AM): jami got game, yo
Jami86e (12:24:26 AM): lol
Jami86e (12:24:36 AM): to guys in their 30s
twztdbuttafly420 (12:24:45 AM): eh…details.
twztdbuttafly420 (12:24:46 AM): lol
Jami86e (12:24:54 AM): seriously what is the appeal of sating someone 14 years younger than you?
Jami86e (12:24:57 AM): dating*
twztdbuttafly420 (12:25:09 AM): you can train a puppy…
Jami86e (12:25:17 AM): i ain’t no puppy!
twztdbuttafly420 (12:25:24 AM): but you cant teach an old dog new tricks.
Jami86e (12:25:38 AM): so anyway he told me two days ago that he had a question for me the next day
Jami86e (12:25:47 AM): so when he walked in yesterday i asked him what his question was
Jami86e (12:26:05 AM): and he said “i’m kind of nervous about this…i was wondering if you would like to check out the new x-men movie sometime”
twztdbuttafly420 (12:26:31 AM): thats not…really asking you out…per se.
Jami86e (12:26:41 AM): and i said i haven’t even seen the first two. which is true, but i was also hoping he would take that as a hint
Jami86e (12:26:52 AM): and then he said “don’t worry, i have the first two on dvd”
Jami86e (12:27:24 AM): well he said he was nervous about it. there was also another girl there next to me and when he said he was nervous she said “you can ask me” and he said “i can’t ask you, you’re my cousin”
twztdbuttafly420 (12:28:11 AM): =-O
Jami86e (12:28:18 AM): yeah, see
Jami86e (12:28:38 AM): i should tell on him to seth lol
twztdbuttafly420 (12:28:46 AM): lol

Her pubic hair grew in a different pattern than his wife’s.

Let me say this now. If, tonight, you find yourself with a McPheever, get some McCowbell, because I will NOT have that witch become the next American Idol! SOUL PATROL! SOUL PATROL!

My lovely wife, Amanda, informed me last night that they just fired another (or maybe two others) Tour Guides yesterday. Fantastic.

I had heard a rumour a while ago about Facebook away messages, but I didn’t believe it. Then last night the rumour became true. But everyone’s are really boring.

I logged into Facebook the other day to find I had a friend request. I had no idea who it could be. I cliked the link and it was Clay Kovac. What??? I don’t even know how to respond to that.

I think it’s funny that nobody can tell how old I am by looking at me. Two years ago I went to McDonald’s and was asked if I would like a Mighty Kids Meal. Two days ago I went to Dominick’s and was told “Have a nice day, Mrs. Robins.”

Yesterday I gave Brian his DVDs. Photoshop had driven me crazy. It took so long to figure out what I needed to do and I wound up with 37 layers. I’m never doing this again lol. I found out one of the DVDs was for Kimmy, so I came home and made a new cover for her and then Brian came to get it and I locked myself out of the house for the first time in my life.

My Dad has absolutely no idea how to use a computer. He came over this morning to use mine.

Dad: How do I get on the internet?
Jami: Click the compass or the globe with the fox.
Mom: That’s a fox?
Jami: No, Mom, it’s an antelope and they call it Firefox.
Dad: This is Xanga, I want to get onto the internet!
Jami: You’re on the internet.
Dad: How do I get to Yahoo? Xanga is telling me the web site I am trying to get to doesn’t exist.
Jami: That’s because it’s not a search engine, it’s an online journal.
Dad: How do I get to Yahoo?
*******
Dad: How do I turn on your printer?
Jami: Press the button.
Dad: Which button?
Jami: The only button…

Today I went to the DMV to get my new driver’s license, since my old one expires tomorrow. Right as I walked in I saw Ian Holland, whom I have not seen in three years. He told me he has a MySpace now. Then I sat down and Saw Eric Esch, who is home from San Diego for a week to get a new license. He told me in Arizona you get a new license when you turn 21 and then your next one doesn’t expire for 45 years. That is crazy.

DO NOT VOTE FOR KATHARINE TONIGHT!!!

So Marni was downstairs and my Mom asked her why her room was making noise. It turns out she snuck a hampster into the house and it hampster sitting for one month. We have a cat. Cat + hampster = tsores. I’ve never seen a hampster up close before but this one looks exactly like the hampster dance guy. What’s really great is Marni is keeping the hampster near Ivy’s food, because she can’t keep it in her room or it will keep me up all night.

Marni: It’s not ‘the hampster,’ it’s Chloe.
Jami: Why?
Marni: 24.
Jami: …?
Marni: Chloe’s the one who always breaks out.
Mom: Oh, God.

We used to have mice and they would break out of their cages all the time. My Mother is not too happy about the hampster. This will be an interesting month. Especially since Marni can’t take care of anything, including herself or her cat.

HULK SMASH

I’m really aggravated because Brian really only talks to me when he wants something and as soon as he gets it he just stops responding to the convo. I cannot even believe how much time and effort I put into making this stinking DVD for him and this is the second time I have done it because he lost the first one I gave him over a year ago. And this one is taking even more time because I had to completely redo the entire cover and I have no fraking clue how to use Photoshop so it took me an hour or two to do it because I had to figure everything out on my own and somehow I wound up with 37 or 38 layers cuz I have no clue what I’m doing. I finally got it but it’s just aggravating. And then he offered to pay me in alcohol because I said I won’t take his money. On top of that I will probably have Joseph songs stuck in my head for the next two weeks, which will really drive me crazy.

First of all, these new “footprints” are driving me crazy. They don’t match up with my sitemeter at all, because there are at least five times as many footprints as hits on my sitemeter, and they all say California instead of Illinois or any other location. And there is no referrer listed.

I found another video. I don’t think the war is okay, but after seeing this video I think it’s safe to say that the troops have given up on fighting and have found other productive things to do with their time…

Pointy words are mouse turds

First of all let me just say, I heard from Lawrence and he is having a baby! That’s freaking crazy.

So a couple weeks ago Spencer randomly left a message on my Facebook wall that said “I was walking to class this morning and I was thinking about the time you smashed that woman’s head through the glass. It made me laugh.” So I’m sitting there in shock wondering what I can say to counter that and then it hits me. “I can’t believe you think it’s funny that I smashed your Mom’s head through the glass of the fish tank.”

So I went to the choir concert last week and saw Mr Carroll. And I did wind up going on stage and singing, though I spent most of the time looking at the music and not Mr Carroll, which I regret. But I didn’t need to look at him. It makes me feel so much better just to know it’s Mr Carroll up there and not Mr Neubauer. I could tell that Melody has been reading my Xanga, because when I saw her on stage she said “Did you actually get up on stage and sing?!” Lol. And since it was the last choir concert of the year there was free cake and juice, which is always a good thing.

I opened the elephant on Tuesday and then went out with Melody. We ate at Rainforest (of course), where Sarah waited on us and they both sabotoged me and I had my first drink. I usually get a virgin Rainbow Colada (Piña Colada with strawberries and bananas…soooo good), but Melody mentioned to Sarah that I was CONSIDERING getting it with alcohol so Sarah didn’t even write down that I wanted it virgin, despite my protest. It was good, but I like it better without the alcohol. This is the second time in my life Melody has made me consume something against my will lol. Then we went to go see “Stick It.” I was going to go see it with Caitlyn, but Melody didn’t have anybody else to see it with. We were both expecting it to be really good, since the writer of “Bring it On” wrote it, but we were disappointed. I would not see it again. Then we went back to her new house and talked until almost 1am.

Needless to say I was very tired when I had to open the elephant the next day, but it was so worth it. And actually that wound up being a double shift, because they decided to fire Robert and Caprice over the weekend, plus two other tour guides quit and Chris asked me to pick up three shifts this week. I opened the elephant Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Wednesday, and Friday wound up being doubles, and I also worked last night. Now I randomly have four days off in a row, which is fine, because I have things I need to do (like go to the DMV, since my driver’s license expires in three days…oops), but I requested off two days to go to Ryan and Heidi’s wedding, and five days to go to NYC, and if I don’t get those days off I am going to be just a little upset.

Things have definitely been interesting at work since I have been back. The clock in the elephant broke. The mic in the elephant broke and they had to use a bull horn. They had to shut off the rain because it got out of control and flooded the floor. And the 6500 gallon fish tank overflowed, but I was in the elephant so I missed all the fun. I also found out that Mauricio was taken out of there in handcuffs a few weeks ago for stealing hundreds of dollars from customers. Wow people that I like need to stop doing that. That is the second time that has happened. I also got to train one of the new tour guides, Amanda, in the elephant on Friday night. And of course we can’t forget about all the geniuses that we have to deal with. One woman called in and asked if we still sell live lizards, because she swears her daughter bought one from us. Nope! I had a guy ask me if we sell alligator tail…as in to eat and then told me I should try it sometime at the taste of Chicago. This is one of those times where I say “Thank You, God for making me Jewish.” I also had one guy come up to me as part of a party of seven and he was the only one there, and ask to be seated. It is policy that we cannot seat incomplete parties, because sometimes they wait for like half an hour for the rest of their party and refuse to order until they get there. So 20 minutes later three more people form his party show up and they want to be seated. They were getting angry. Becky Sue said we would make an exception because we were like dead in there. So I sent them back and the guy starts to walk away, but then comes back to yell at me. “Don’t say that you CAN’T seat us, because obviously you CAN. And can’t is a negative word. Don’t use negative words to your customers because it irritates them and you really pissed me off. Do you know what a negative word is?” And then proceeded to explain to me what a negative word is. This is why Spencer left me that comment on my Facebook, because sometimes people make us want to do that. Anyway, after the guy sat down Becky Sue came over to me and asked what he said to me, because he was really mad. So I told her and she just laughed. I love it lol. But my favorite so far is the guy who had just eaten there and as he walked out, came up to me and asked if when you order a hamburger it comes with a side of cole slaw. So I said I have no idea and he pats me on the arm and goes “You gotta learn your job, kid.” And walks away. Guess what, I DO know my job. My job has nothing to do with the food, and, frankly, I could care less about what a burger does or does not come with. You can get a burger ANYWHERE, why would you go to Rainforest and get a burger anyway? I want to find this guy and ask him what his job is and then ask him a question about tight rope walking and when he doesn’t know the answer, tell him he fails at life.

We have two contests going on at Rainforest right now, starting today and ending on June 30. The first contest is dumb so I am not going to mention it. The second contest is, go to any Rainforest Cafe in the country and enter to win a five day, four night trip to Orlando, Fl, for four people. You get airfare, hotel accomodations, passes to the parks, and a $300 Landy’s gift card that doesn’t expire and can be used at any of these restaurants in any part of the country. You also have exactly one year to use it if you win. There will be four winners from across the country. Should you happen to win, you will be taking me. ANyway, the other contest has a lot more to it, but it’s kind of stupid. They had a meeting about both of these while I was at school. What’s funny is the other day when I was on a double, I spent 20 minutes asking for somebody to come up to the elephant so I could go eat my food, which was ready (luckily all I ordered was a salad, so I didn’t have to worry about hot food getting cold, or I would have been pissed). Finally Olga came up. Like 20 minutes into my break she got phone audited about the contests and didn’t do very well. I told her if she had just come up when I asked her, it would have been me that had been audited and not her. Though I would have done even worse.

However, we had a visit from Victor Jones on Thursday. I’m not sure of his exact job, I just know that he oversees all the Rainforest Cafes. He quizzed me on both of the contests. Luckily Kevin had explained them to me that morning and told me Victor would ask me about them. Anyway, apparently I did very well and Victor told me that now if anybody asks him about the contests he is going to have them call Jami at Gurnee. Hehe yay!

Jenny, Neal, and Lindsay are all training to be Safari Guides this week. Lindsay has red hair and it looks terrible. I made sure to let her know that on several occasions. Everytime she comes back into my life she is more and more of a brat. She needs some siblings.

Oh but definitely the highlight of being back so far was last night when one of the two hooks on my bra came unhooked, and we have to wear two shirts that are both tucked in, so it’s not like I can just stand with my back against a fish tank and reach my hand in the shirt and rehook it. I told Amanda it was unhooked and she told me to turn around and she hooked it through my shirt. It was funny. And I told her I would write about it in here.

This entry is long. I am going to post some funny videos now.


The evolution of dance. This is great.

You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend

I’m sorry but I just don’t understand why everybody is so shocked and upset that Marissa died. They announced last week that that was going to happen because Mischa Barton wanted out of her contract. I’m glad I knew in advance, because it didn’t affect me when I actually saw it happen.