Ruprecht’s all about Burmese belly rubs and fresh shaved testicles on Christmas Day

Well now that I’ve had sometime to clear my head, I’ve realised this is for the best. They go through employees like water. If i had a dollar for every employee they’ve lost since I have been back this summer, I would have probablky more than what I would have made, had I worked tonight. They just fired two people that have been there for several years. It’s ridiculous to walk into work everyday and wonder if you will still have a job in a few hours, since they fire people for the most ridiculous reasons. It sucks that I may not have an income again for four years…actually, that REALLY sucks, but I shouldn;t have to feel my job is threatened everyday. I also shouldn’t have to pay them in order to get a discount. I’m actually quite happy about this decision, depsite no more money and I still have maybe $300 or $400 more that I need to pay off on my credit card. And now I have to mooch off of my parents, who probably can’t afford it anyway. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I do know one thing: if God wants me to have another job, then another job will come along, whether I’m at home or at school.

Also, Robek’s Juice is more expensive than Jamba Juice and definitely not worth it. They don’t even mix up the boost and I can taste it. Gross.

Miri posted something on MySpace that I think is great, so I am going to post it here.

My letter to Tom Cruise and Associates:

To: The A.B.L.E. Scientology Center on Hollywood and La Brea
CC: The associates of L. Ron Hubbard, Publishers of Dianetics, and Tom Cruise

August 3rd, 2006

To Whom It May Concern:

Today at 12:53PM an astounding and terrifying event happened outside of your campus. A regular passer-by on her way to lunch was walking past. As soon as her foot hit the star of Doug McClure her world came to a screeching halt, quite literally in fact, because she slipped, skid, and fell on her ass in front of all the glaring tourists in the area.

Why did this young innocent slip and fall? BECAUSE YOU OVER-WATER YOUR PLANTS!!! The water coming from the A.B.L.E. Scientology Center was flooding and overwhelming the vulnerable star of a B movie actor much to the ignorance of those who dare to walk over his name! I have reason to believe this was an intentional act.

Exhibit A: When the pleasantly plump old man solicits tours outside your center the sprinklers are NEVER on–making it so your representative does not get wet, and keeping those who may be curious about your voodoo safe from encountering such a tragedy. However, old man gone, no one curious about Scientology outside anymore…interesting…

Exhibit B: The video camera outside your Willy Wonka gates capture everything–maybe even those who pass by regularly. Those people who pass by regularly have often ignored the pleasantly plump old man, which is the motive for seeking your vengeance! Don’t think I did not feel the energy of the laughing security guards and even the snicker of L. Ron himself as he was drinking a dry martini on his distant plane watching me plummet to the ground. I am requesting that the tape to this video camera will be subpeonaed in the pursuit of justice.

Exhibit C: We all hate that pleasantly plump old man. Get rid of him!

Exhibit D: Baby Suri! Where the hell is baby Suri!!!

I am requesting a settlement and demanding the regulation of your sprinklers forthwith. My requested settlement amount is $1.5 million to make good on the following:

Projected Hospital Bills for twisted ankle and bruised hip: $3,000.00

I am no longer able to work at my present place of employment due to the amount of anxiety the sight of your building brings me. For this I would like you to replace the value of my salary for the remainder of the year: $12,000.00

Your henchmen run the streets of LA. I must flee! Moving costs: $7,000.00

Guard dog: $1,237.43

Pain and suffering: $1,476,762.57

I expect your organization to meet all my demands or I will go forward with legal action.

M. Lydia Kehler

P.S. I have not included a return address because of my paranoia which you have instigated. Please send all mail to the following:

The Church of Shirley McClaine
North Carolina Annex

Yes, that is the entire address. All mail sent to the Church of Shirley McClaine is received by the goddess herself and distributed to her various minions.


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