Month: October 2006

Boy I thought the Spaghettios had made my day…

I know it’s technically another day, but I haven’t gone to bed yet, so it’s still the same day to me.

Anyway, Sara!Jane and I have been quoting this sketch for the last nine years but they haven’t showed the Bert Fershners special again since then.

I just found the video on YouTube and was so happy I almost cried.

I also ate some Spaghettios.

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Josh: Melissa, that’s gross. Don’t say “balls.”…They’re popcorn TESTICLES.

Christy: … Well I met Michael Jordan!
Jami: I met The Fridge.
Christy: I win!
Jami: How do you win?
Christy: Because you can’t compete with Michael Jordan.
Jami: I MET THE FRIDGE!
Christy: *looks at the refrigerator*
Jami: William “The Refrigerator” Perry!!
Christy: OH!!
******
Jami: I told Christy I met The Fridge and she thought I meant the actual refrigerator.
Susan: Okay..
Jami: I don’t think Susan knows who The Fridge is.
Susan: *looks at the refrigerator*

They make individual sized Spaghettios that have pop tops so you don’t need a can opener. That is so amazing.

It turns out Monicals did not change their sauce, they just put the wrong sauce on my pizza the other day. Thank God.

My sea monkeys are growing a lot. One of them is about 1cm long already. I named him Malkovich. Just like the others. I am realising now how stupid it was for me to get them, because they need to be fed once a week and when I go home I cannot take them in the car for a four hour ride. Also, because it says they can sustain their colony for two years and I will be living in California in less than two years and I cannot take them with me. And I can’t let them die. Oh this was a bad idea.

I have convinced my Mom to let me take the car home after Thanksgiving break and have it with me at school henceforth, but the catch is I have to get a job so I can pay for gas. We’ll see how well that one works out. Gas was down to $2.02 here a few days ago but it went up 20 cents.

I missed one of my classes last week because it was 27º outside. I realise that is not really that cold, but it had been in the 40s and 50s and was supposed to be again that day and it was a 9:30am class and I was just not prepared to pull out my winter coat, gloves, and scarf, so I just went back to bed. Tomorrow has a high of 70º.

They are building a 5 star resort three miles away from here. They will have a lake with fishing and boating, bumper boats, a large pool, water slides, go karts, a petting zoo, mini golf, paintball, and duck tours. I think there will be mroe to do at that one resort than there is now in all of Illinois outside of Chicago and surrounding areas.

So Rob just moved out to LA a few months ago and I saw on Facebook yesterday that he has already quit his job at the William Morris Talent Agency. When I asked why he said it’s because he got a show already!! And it’s not just a pilot, it was picked up for nine episodes already and he will be in 3-4 of them!! How cool is that??? It’s a sketch comedy show on Spike TV called “MANswers” and it will be premiering sometime this winter. I am so excited for him!!!

Well, at present time, Cardinals fans are not nearly as bad as White Sox fans. Although last year all the commotion was happening right outside of Taylor and that is a good 7-8 minute walk from here. We’ll see tomorrow if there is any property damage.

Also, do we change our clocks this weekend?

Jami: Are you limping?
Josh: No..
Jami: It looks like you’re limping.
Josh: I’m a gangster, that’s how I walk.

Christy: I doubt we would be able to find anyone else on this campus that is as intelligent as the four of us in this room.
Jami: Christy, there are THREE people in this room.

Wednesday of last week was TV Land Jeopardy. I, with three other people, represented Campus House. There were five (?) rounds with four teams each. The questions were ridiculous…ly easy. The answer to every single question, no matter what the category was, was the name of a tv. And they kept on using the same shows over and over again. And since when is Baywatch a TV Land show? And why does that classify as one and Star Trek doesn’t? Anyway, they also didn’t have to phrase answers in the form of a question. I suppose that is to be expected. It is, afterall, Eastern and not Northwestern. I was expecting hard questions like “Which town is down the road from Green Acres?”, “What is the name of the hotel on Bosom Buddies?”, and “Who shot JR?” Yes, I know who shot JR. But no such questions existed and we domonated with more than twice the amount of points than the second place team in our round, and only two of us even answered questions. It’s just so easy when everything is about I dream of Jeannie and Full House.

Friday night Christy and I went to the pep rally with the special guest MC:

Mr Belding 001 Mr Belding 003

I don’t like posting these photos because I look so bad, but there is my proof. I feel bad for the guy though. They showed clips of everything he’s been in and nobody was paying attention and nobody cared and then they show the opening credits of Saved by the Bell and the crowd goes wild. Also I’m sure nobody ever says to him “Hey, you’re Dennis Haskins!” He will forever be knnown as “Mr. Belding.” I don’t think I would like it if nobody knew my real name and I was always “Jan the Pink Lady” or “Girl #3 from Anything Goes” or something of the like.

I also saw Jerry van Dyke in the parade on Saturday, but I did not meet him. He was too busy taunting the drunk people on the other side of the street.

Ica finally gave me the pictures from Shiloh last year.

Shiloh1 Shiloh3 Shiloh2

Yes, I chopped wood. Took me 30 minutes and Eric had to start it for me, but nevertheless, chopped it I did.

My sea monkeys are growing nicely. The larger ones no longer resemble sperm and I can even see their eyes when they swim close enough to the side of the tank. They are all named “Malkovich.” If you have ever seen “Being John Malkovich,” you understand why that is appropriate.

They changed the pizza sauce from Monicals. Jami is very upset about that.

I decided I really want to try playing Whirlyball. I think I am going to make people play with me over Thanksgiving break.

A few years ago I had a country on Nationstates, but I left it cease to exist, because they kept on giving me the same laws over and over again and I got sick of it. Plus it kept on saying it was an evil dictatorship or something and I was unhappy. But I was randomly thinking about it the other day so I decided to make a new one. Hopefully this time it will go better. I also figured out how to make my own flag:

Agnapot896

My original intention was to make it entirely purple, but I had trouble staying inside of the lines. But I think it turned out cooler this way. I have no idea what I am doing in photoshop, so getting colour on it at all was an amazing feat in and of itself. However, I had a heck of a time getting it down to 10kb. Luckily my Mom knows her way around Photoshop and she talked me through it.

My country is called “Agnapot,” because everything I could think of was taken, and if you read that backwards, you will see it reads “Topanga.” And Boy Meets World is my favorite show, as I have recently realised. I decided to pronounce it “Ah-ña-pote.” If anybody decides to make a country, wire me a telegram so I can add you to my dossier!

Now I leave everyone with an excerpt from a message that nate sent out on Facebook the other day. It is amazing:

“An Army batallion was walking through the Iraqi desert trying to make it back to their base. The weather was terrible. Rain and wind was just pounding down on them from every side. Trudging through the sand and mud was becoming a miserable walk. One of the soldiers was praying, “God, please just take this storm away from us. Just get us home.” Well, the rain continued on. About an hour later it subsided. As the soldiers looked ahead of them, they were greeted with a bit of a shock. In front of them was the last stretch before they reached their base. Spread all across the desert floor was hundreds of metal disks – land mines. The torrential rain that had before seemed so unbearable to walk through had washed away the sand covering the deadly explosives. Now the batallion could safely make their way across the last mile with the danger clearly visible in order that they may avoid the mines. The soldier’s prayer had been answered, but not the way he expected. God was getting them home – safely. But God knew best. The struggle of walking through the rain was God’s way of making the soldier’s prayer come true. Amazing stuff.

Sometimes we pray looking for an immediate answer, an answer of our own desire. Perhaps, God sets in front us the trials we must endure so, that in the end, our prayers can be fully answered. If we stay true to him, and be diligent and patient, perhaps we will be rewarded. Just pray that you can see the rainbow through the storm. God will take care of the rest.”

Who needs real conversation when you have Facebook?

I have decided that the main purpose of Facebook is to try and phase out actual communication. As if poor communication isn’t a big enough problem in today’s society, especially in romantic relationships. With 85% of college students using Facebook (I’m not gonna lie, I got that statistic from Wikipedia), 85% of college students no longer need to talk with people they used to talk with before they joined Facebook. Examples:

•If you want to get someone’s attention, you poke them.
•If you want someone to know you don’t like them, you write a note about it and tag them.
•If you want someone to know you have something in common, you invite them into a group you are in.
•If you like someone, you add them as a relationship, instead of asking them out.
•If you want to break up with someone, all you have to do is click “cancel relationship” and the relationship is over, no communication necessary (see Facebook Responsible For Breakup Epidemic).
•If you want someone to know they are a bad kisser, you add them as a hookup and describe it as “horrible.”
•If you want someone to know your friendship has been discontinued, you delete them from your friends list.
•If you want to compliment someone, you hit them with the beautiful truck.

Maybe someday people will be able to perform surgery over Facebook.

Facebook is obviously aiding in the deterioration of society. Let’s face it, if you don’t have a Facebook, you will probably lose all of your friends eventually, because they will have no way to contact you. Afterall, why would anyone still care about you if you refuse to conform? I’ll be honest, I too have fallen prey to this internet phenomenon and am more likely to leave someone a comment on their wall than I am to call them just to talk for a minute or two. And I am not going to stop logging in 84 times a day just because it might be ruining my ability to communicate.

“What is the point of this rant?” You may ask. To put it simply: I am tired.

Fin.

My Dad just told me he has a large mass on both sides of his thyroid and it’s growing. Prayer is much appreciated. If I don’t talk to you about personal things and you bring this up to me in any way, shape, or form, I promise I will put you on block. This is your only warning.

We lost a fish, but we now have sea monkeys. Apparently I am the only person that lives with me that knew what they were, so I just had to get some from Toys R Us while I was in Champaign the other day. Unfortunately the only one they had was the Sea Monkeys in the City. If I had my way, I would have gotten the pirate ship one. Anyway, my only sea monkeys experience was probably in first grade. My Dad thought we should have some. They never worked and I figured out why when I read the directions the other day. Which is probably my first time reading directions for anything. I always have to figure stuff out for myself. Give me a cell phone and give me a while and I’ll figure everything out on my own. Anyway, I decided to read the directions so that they would actually work and I’m glad I did. We actually saw some swimming around!! Trish wants to give them all the same name. Any suggestions? I’m thinking Fred.

I found out that the Arizona Cardinals used to be the St. Louis Cardinals lol.

My Dad told me he told my Mom I belong in SoCal. I asked why, because I have never been there before. He said it just makes sense and the second I get off the plane I am going to feel like I am home. I sure hope so. Also, someone in my family group told me tonight that if I go visit a school in California and wind up going there, if I show them my plane ticket, hotel receipt, etc they will reimburse me and give me a food stipend. That’s pretty freaking awesome.

EDIT: TVLand Jeopardy tomorrow at 4pm in the grand ballroom in the union. I’m representing Campus House with four other people. Come on out and show your support!

Reid Devastated by Botched Plastic Surgery

American Pie star Tara Reid was devastated after her body was left ravaged by botched breast implant and liposuction procedures. The star originally decided to have plastic surgery to fix her lop-sided cleavage and ended up being embarrassed to show her body in public. She tells American publication Us Weekly, “I got my breasts done for the first time because my breasts were uneven. I was a 34B, but the right one was always bigger than the left. I weigh 110 pounds now, but I always used to fluctuate by 10 pounds, so my skin was kind of saggy. I figured, ‘I’m in Hollywood, I’m getting older, I’m going to fix them.'” The 30-year-old says the operation went wrong from the very beginning saying, “First of all, I asked for big Bs, and he (the doctor) did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didn’t want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s going to be better.’ But after six months it started to get worse and worse.” The actress says her breast implants made her self-conscious – especially when it came to being intimate. She says, “Guys I was dating would be like, ‘What’s wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.’ So embarrassing. I mean, you definitely need to turn the lights off, that’s for sure.” Reid also underwent liposuction on her thin frame at the same time to make her muscles appear more sculpted. She says, “I got lipo because even though I was skinny, I wanted – I’m not going to lie – a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing.” Reid underwent reconstructive surgery last month and has endured a painful recovery, but insists her life is back on track. She adds, “I’ll never be perfect again, but I’ve got my self confidence back.”

Let’s put the “discuss” in “disgusting”

Last week I went with Christy when she went to apply to work at the nearby hotels. At the Days Inn, while she was filling out an application, I looked around the lobby and I saw under the desk there were about 10-15 copies of The Book of Mormon. I thought about taking one, so I can have more ammo against them, but I haven’t even read through the whole bible, so I don’t feel right about reading The Book of Mormon before The Bible. Plus what attention span do I have to read through it? But I found a six minute video on YouTube that is a condensed version of The Book of Mormon. There is a lot more that I didn’t know, that is a lot worse than I thought. Enjoy: