I was thinking about what we can do in the off season to better ourselves, since next year is definitley our year! The World Series drought will not make it to double digits! I know a lot of things will depend on who buys The Cubs, but here is a list of things we should do:

1) Send Mike Fontenot, Felix Pie, Ronny Cedeño, Henry Blanco, and Angel Pagan to Winter League so they can learn to hit. Yes, I would like to see Angel Pagan back with the team, even though we have wayyy too many outfielders.
2) Send Alfonso Soriano to a psychologist who will convince him it is okay to hit in the middle of the order. Tell him it’s also okay if he doesn’t swing at every pitch. Make Ryan Theriot the leadoff man.
3) Send Carlos Zambrano to same psychologist, and probably anger management as well.
4) Make Geovany Soto starting catcher. I’m positive they’ve already decided on this.
5) Trade Jason Kendall for a really good long reliever. I have someone in mind, but I won’t say who.
6) The worst thing they can do is put Ryan Dempster in the rotation. The second worst thing they can do is keep him as the closer. I would love to see Carlos Marmol as the closer, as would everyone else, but after that performance in the playoffs, I don’t know. Though I did once see him load the bases with no outs then strike out the next three guys. If he’s not ready to be a closer, I would like to see Kerry Wood as our closer (unless they wind up trading Jason Kendall for an amazing closer, say from The Diamondbacks *cough*), but we have a greater chance of having a blizzard in July than Kerry Wood going an entire season without a visit to the DL.
7) Put Kevin Hart into the rotation. This guy has proven himself in a matter of weeks. It says a lot when you are brought up from AA on September 1 and wind up on the playoff roster over guys who have nine years of experience.
8) The bullpen needs a lot of help. Supposedly we had the third best bullpen in the NL. That’s pretty sad. I think we should keep Marmol, Howry, Eyre, Wuertz, and Wood, and get rid of everyone else, INCLUDING RYAN DEMPSTER.
9) We also need to get rid of Steve Trachsel and Craig Monroe.
10) I don’t know how I feel about Jason Marquis. I have no comment.
11) We may also want a new third base coach, though I think Mike Quade figured out near the end that he CAN, in fact, wave guys home.

On a note unrelated to baseball, I think I have a new found respect for Andy Samberg after watching this. Also, if you wait til the end, Will Forte is just amazing:

Also, you can send yourself free gifts on Facebook. I sent myself a chill pill hehe.


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