So I wound up not going back. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep for a while (as always). By the time it was time to get up I wasn’t feeling like I would be able to do all that driving without falling asleep, so I just stayed in bed. I’m feeling awake now and I really wanted to go, but even if I were to leave now without showering and in my pajamas I wouldn’t be able to get there on time. I feel really bad and selfish right now.

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