So it turns out we can’t sublet our apartment this summer because the lease says so. So we each just wasted $290 and I feel really stupid/bad. Elizabeth asked me why I don’t just take classes this summer anyway.

I figured out how to describe what school feels like for me. I feel like I’m wading through mud or quicksand, even. I can barely get through it. What little I can get through it’s really hard to push myself and I am barely getting through. With the quicksand I am sinking deeper and deeper and it’s not getting any better. And I am trying to get somewhere, but I just can’t get there.

Also, I am in dire need of a change of environment. If I’m going to get through school it’s not going to be here. I think Illinois is the mud/quicksand and I need to get out of here.

*Note: according to Wikipedia, quicksand is actually real???

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