Leaving my congregation, and a couple other things

@#^%$*%)@_$&%@#!!!! I’m not going to services at Devar anymore. I’m not as angry as I was this morning, because I wanted to take some time to cool off before I wrote about it. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to leave for a while, because I don’t agree with a lot of things Kirk says or does. The reason I stayed there is because there are so many people my age. Aimee and I have talked about leaving and I think she was getting close then Kirk asked her to lead the 20s group so she decided to stay. Anyway, aside issues I already had, on Wednesday night he made a comment to me that I didn’t like. He said (actually this comment was made to Nikki, but I was right there) that I have two Jewish parents and can’t read Hebrew and don’t know all traditions. What the heck? how is that my fault? And I was really offended by that. But I brushed it off. Also Nikki had asked him, the same night, about him not liking gentiles coming. He said certain people are examples, citing this girl Lisa and her boyfriend Nik as specific examples. Lisa has been coming for six months and has been teaching Shabbat School for the past couple months. There are nine kids in her family. She is the one who found the congregation and recently one of her sisters and one of her brothers have come off and on. Kirk has known the whole time they’re not Jewish, since he basically asks everyone the first time they come. Anyway this conversation was on Wednesday night and this morning I find out soetime between Wednesday and yesterday, Kirk told Lisa’s brother that he is no longer welcome because he isn’t Jewish and he doesn’t want anyone else from their family coming and Lisa needs to have a smaller role if she continues to come, meaning he doesn’t want her to teach anymore. Anyway, I’m really upset by this, and I’m obviously not the only one. I don’t understand how you can have such little respect for people and call yourself a rabbi. Or how you can be involved in the Messianic movement and expect to not have any gentiles IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!! And if you don’t want someone attending your congregation because of that TELL THEM RIGHT AWAY, NOT SIX MONTHS LATER!!! So, anyway, I’m leaving, and I know other people will be too (not including the three 20s that left in the past two months already, one of which took his entire family with him). Anyway, it looks like this already small congregation is falling apart, but I won’t go into much more detail than that.

Right now I’m still planning on going to the 20s bible studies, since Aimee leads it. I’m not planning on saying anything to Kirk until after the conference next weekend, since he’ll be there. And if he winds up telling me I can’t come to the bible study anymore, then fine. And Nikki will leave too…apparently if I can’t come anymore it falls apart lol.
HisPoetryBeast (11:31:20 PM): So you, Jami, are the make or break for the 20’s group

Haha. Anyway, this girl I met in one of the Messianic groups on MyFace just started coming this week. She was looking for a congregation and doesn’t know any other Messianics. So I feel bad for leaving right when she starts coming, but I can’t stay because of her. I just can’t go back to a congregaiton that has a leader that has such disrespect for people who did nothing to deserve that.

So even though there are 10 congregations in the Chicago area, now it’s basically B’Nai or nothing. But Nikki is there and her friend goes twice a month now I guess. It’ll be okay. I was already planning on going to oneg there today before I found out about this. I’ve been to maybe four services there in the last 17-18 years but they still consider me a part of their congregation. In fact, when I was there today, my birthday was listed on the calendar.

So now I will be saving so much money on gas and tolls, oh man. Plus I can sleep an extra hour and a half. I can leave at 10:45, instead of 9:15. Oh that’ll be nice. And it’ll be ncie to have good oneg every week. I won’t be going to a service there for two weeks, because of the conference. And I may not be happy with the service, who knows, but it’s really that or nowhere, at least until I move, who knows when that will be? I’m feeling really good about my decision. I just can’t stay at Devar.

Now on to other things.

The other day my GM told me I’ve exceeded his expectations and the manager who got me in trouble has been talking me up a lot at manager meetings. It’s been a lot better with him the past few weeks, but apaprently he just transfered to Woodfield, so okay. But my GM said he wants to see me take on more responsibility eventually, like updating stuff?? I don’t really know what that means, but okay. It’s funny because I’m not doing anything different than I was before, so yeah. Weird. Except the difference was I’ve been praying about it since that incident. So yeah.

Last week I waited on someone who came from Italy to write a guide book on American restaurants. No pressure, right?? Anyway, the guy he was with who paid said he was gonna give the Italian guy a lesson on tipping. Intentionally saying this in front of me so I could hear the compliment “She did a great job so we’re going to leave her 15%!” 15% for a GREAT job?? He then went on to claim the standard for tipping is 10-15%. Not in this country!! It’s 18%, but for a great job I should be getting a MINIMUM of 20%!!!! Boo!! Also a couple days ago I got a 10% tip from someone I went to middle school and high school with. I’m not going to say publicly who it was, but if you’re from Mundelein and you’re curious, ask me in private. And it’s not even someone I don’t get along with. It’s someone I’ve run into a couple times since high school and we have nice conversations. Anyway. Yeah.

I had the most genius idea ever. My phone is set to vibrate when I get a text. I often put my phone in my cup holder when I drive so I can get to it quickly if it rings. However if I get a text, I don’t usually hear it vibrate, because my music is too loud. So anyway, one of my coworkers brought candy for Valentine’s Day. I took a box of Nerds, with every intention of eating them. Then on the way home I realised if I put the box of Nerds in my cup holder and put my phone on the box of Nerds, the box of Nerds will rattle. Anyway, it totally works and I can hear it now even with my music on, unless it’s super loud. So much for eating those Nerds.

I will write about my fantasy baseball team later.

EDIT: Now I’m being told the reason Kirk doesn’t want Lisa’s family to come is because her brother asked to play bass in the youth group worship band. Oh my gosh. What is wrong with him?! Those gentiles think they can just waltz into our congregation and play their instruments??? What’s next, drums? Singing? Unbelievable.



  1. Bass guitars require electricity, and we know how the Torah specificially condemns electricity being used on Shabbat (except for lighting of course). But yeah you gotta go with the group that meets your needs.I’ve already told you with tipping all my friends think 15% is the normal. I usually tip 15% and round up. Rounding up 50 cents adds 3%. But if it’s a waiter I know I tip 20%.

  2. Ugh… I was sort of interested in the “messianic” thing for awhile – till I discovered it was (more often than not in my experience) so intolerably elitist – I also get sick when I think about how people (who claim to follow the Jewish Messiah Yeshua) have such a crush on “leadership” and being in control of others, as if others are just statistics or commodities…   Yeshua was not that way AT ALL – and I could get fired up about that – but who would care . . . ugh.  As to the Jew/gentile ego-battle – not all gentiles are Jews – but – all Jews are gentiles.  For it was said of Abram – “I will make of you a great gentile (goy or nation) . . . and you will be the father of many gentiles (goyim or nations).  Anyway . . . I think I understand your plight enough to predict that eventually you’ll give up “congregating” altogether – because almost every movement within Messianity has people who climb all over anyone in their way to get to the “top” – and people who “waltz in” to climb all over anyone in their way to get to the “top.”  Meanwhile for some strange reason I still believe that YHVH is God and Yeshua is his/her son anointed king.  Good luck…

  3. @tsunamifirestorm – it’s possible the standard in cali is 15%, since things cost more there, so your friends could be right. in which case when i go out to eat there, servers will be grateful i’m not form there because i will still be tipping 20% lol. and fyi you’re supposed to tip more than 20% if you know the person (at least in illinois). i waited on my grandma once and she left me a little under 20%. that was awesome. psh

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